how to be a better human

We're already well into March. January and February have come and gone...and with them, perhaps, the resolutions we embraced with such conviction at the start of the new year. To lose a few pounds. To ramp up our exercise routine. To simplify our lives. All worthy goals. All honorable intentions. All admirable yearnings.

Most of us would probably agree that it takes some combination of burning desire, fierce determination, and unrelenting self-discipline...whatever it takes...to make change happen. 

Perhaps your goals for this year are even loftier than usual at this stage of your life. To find happiness. To embrace equanimity. To cultivate inner peace and extend it to others. To heal the wounds that cause people to suffer...which, I believe, is what we are called to do with this one transcendent life of ours. To help people heal.

The bad news is that these are difficult goals to achieve under the best of circumstances, even with tireless effort. Harder even than dieting and exercising. 

The good news is that help is available. Wisdom abounds. Why, in just the past week, the following brilliant nuggets popped up among my e-mails:

~How to make the best of life

~How to master a life transition

~How to be perfect

~How to reprogram your subconscious mind

~How to access superhuman abilities

~How to reprogram your brain for healing

~And my personal favorite: "The Secret to Finishing Your Book."

I could go on. It's all out there. How to be a better human. Words of advice for whatever you want to achieve...complete with instructions...from people who claim to know it all. This should be easy, right? Plenty of people claim to have attained transcendence. They offer us an easy path forward. Don't fall for it, though. Before you surrender to someone else's authority, before you give away your own power, consider the Buddha's advice:

"Believe nothing,

no matter where you read it

or who has said it,

not even if I have said it,

unless it agrees with your own reason

and your own common sense."

~Buddha~

Or, as Einstein put it:

"The important thing is to

never stop questioning"

~Albert Einstein~

...to which I would add, when you think you have it all figured out, think again. Question yourself, especially if, at this stage in your life...in the world we now inhabit...you feel a need for correction, redirection, or redemption. If you feel a need to rediscover, reinvent, or recreate your true Self. This is the perfect time to reconnect...

...which is why these words of artist Emily McDowell, from "EM & Friends", resonate so authentically with me:

"Finding yourself is not really how it works. You are not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people's opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. Finding yourself is actually returning to yourself, an unearthing, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you."

The conclusions we draw about who we are include a litany of disempowering, disheartening, and discouraging misconceptions we embraced as children and endured as adults that continue to cast long shadows over us as we age. No matter who we're with. No matter where we go. No matter what we accomplish. These include the never-good-enough, never-smart-enough, never-funny-enough, never thin enough, never-worthy-of-anything judgements that serve to camouflage wounds that have been festering untended, out of sight, our entire lives.

How can we ever expect to heal?

The answer is to question everything. Question everyone...your parents, friends, teachers, mentors, and every stranger you meet. Question your doctor. Ask your pastor, priest, or rabbi why they worship the way they do. See if makes sense to you.

If what you were trained to do, or taught to believe, or expected to accept leave you feeling uneasy, question them. Beware of guilt and shame. Pay attention when you feel a twinge of heartache or the pull of compassion. Stand up to injustice and cruelty in all their guises...poverty, war, homelessness, and hunger. Abuse and neglect. Tend to the ill and grieving when you can. Take care of the animals. Speak up for the planet. Challenge the politics.

"The cost of not following your heart

is spending the rest of your life

wishing you had."

~Attribution Unknown~

Spend a little time exploring who you were before the world got its hands on you.

You'll find a better human there. 

When you wake up in the morning, instead of asking yourself what you need to do that day, consider asking yourself this question:

Who do I want to BE today?

And always remember this:

"You're braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think."

~Winnie the Pooh~

jan