how storytelling reopens the wound

If you are reading this blog, you probably have some familiarity with, or curiosity about, the concept of storytelling as a healing practice. If you are a health care provider, a therapist in any field, a caregiver—or if you have ever been sick yourself—you may have an untold story wreaking havoc in the back of your mind. Perhaps it reflects a painful, sad, or frightening episode in your past…something you’d rather not resurrect. Maybe there was a time of such joy or relief or healing you can’t imagine putting it into words so you haven’t even given it a try.

"A writer is someone

for whom writing is more difficult

than it is for most people."

~Thomas Mann~

Or…perhaps you’ve started the story again and again and gotten nowhere with it. It turns into a rambling description of places, persons, and events that fails to capture the emotions that made the experience meaningful to you.

This is where a good writing prompt can be helpful. That and a supportive reader who knows how hard this is for you and heaps praise upon you just for trying.

If you need a little nudge to get you started, here a of couple of writing prompts for health care providers that might help:

·         Write about “expectations” you’ve embraced (or rejected).

·         Tell us what it feels like to work without sleep, on an empty stomach, when you have to pee, in the middle of the night.

·         What goes through your mind on the way to work in the morning…or on your way home at the end of the day.

If you are the one who was sick, or you cared for someone who was ill, try these:

·         Write about "waiting."

·         Tell us what you fear the most.

·         Tell us what you do to care for yourself.

When you begin, don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. That’s the easy part, and it can wait until later. Instead, write about the first thing that comes to mind.

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

~Mark Twain~

Give yourself 15 minutes or so, then rest. Wait a couple of days and try again. Write until you come up against the piece that is hardest to write…a time when you were so sad or scared or angry you still hesitate to commit it to paper…or so comical or comforting or inspiring it leaves you groping for words.

"The most important things are

the hardest to say

because words diminish them."

~Stephen King~

When you write, include details even if they seem insignificant. The missing tile on the ER wall. The overflowing trash can in the visitors’ lounge. The ladybug that made its way into the OR. These familiar images connect the reader to your story. Use the senses to bring the scene to life. The sight of blood pumping out of a tiny artery after the other bleeders were all tied off. The taste of cold, black coffee in the middle of the night…and why you sometimes need it. The smell of stale urine.

"To create something exceptional,

your mindset must be relentlessly focused

on the smallest detail."

~Giorgio Armani~

An untold story can leave us with a vague sense of frustration, anxiety, or confusion that we don’t understand, and can’t dispel until we put it into words...until we set the scene, name the players, and face the feelings that have festered out of sight for so long.

Storytelling unmasks the wound so healing can begin.

"Nobody cares how much you know,

until they know how much you care."

~Theodore Roosevelt~

jan





have you had your nap today?

 

Have You Had Your Nap Today?

 

Back in the days when my priorities were somewhat skewed, writing was on the bottom of my list of the ten most important things I needed to accomplish every day. Ahead of writing…dreaming up characters, fabricating dialogue, and searching for just the right word…were:

--caring for my patients

--getting the kids out of bed, dressed, fed, and off to school

--keeping the house in reasonable order

--getting meals on the table

--staying ahead of the laundry

--managing the yardwork

--running to the bank, grocery store, post-office, dry cleaner, etc., etc.

--preventing dirty dishes from accumulating in the sink

--getting a little exercise

--staying in touch with family and friends

...all of which are honorable and necessary expressions of a civilized life, but really? How much can one person do in one day? And notice that embellishments such as enjoying a manicure or massage, meeting with friends over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and slowing down long enough for an afternoon nap are nowhere on the list, a sure sign that something needs to change.

"Good things happen

when you set your priorities straight."

~Scott Caan~

Now I know better. I have learned that many of the little self-imposed tasks and obligations that we stake our lives on can be organized and dispatched in a heartbeat. I know now that before we tend to them, we must first of all write…or paint or compose or sing or dance…in order to sustain momentum, to nourish and energize ourselves, to satisfy and fulfill our longings. In other words, to be creative and connected and happy. And instead of barreling through the day at warp speed in order to earn ourselves a few free minutes to write before we collapse into bed at night, we must learn to celebrate the virtues of idleness, day-dreaming, playfulness, solitude, silence, and rest. As the mind wanders, so does the imagination. And out of the imagination, who knows what might emerge? 

                                "Let's start by take 

                     a smallish nap or two."

                                            ~Winnie the Pooh~

Have you had your nap today?

jan

there's a wound out there in the shape of your words

 

I spend a lot of time encouraging people I know to tell the stories they hold tight in their hearts. To write them down, or get them onto a canvas, or put them into movement or song. As a physician, I do this because I know that storytelling is a healing practice. Why is this important? In the words of poet Sean Thomas Dougherty:

"Because right now

there is someone out there 

with a wound in the exact shape of your words."

~Sean Thomas Dougherty~

People need to know they're not alone. They need to know how you survived. That there is hope. That their story is important, too.

We hesitate to begin out of fear. We tell ourselves we don't write well enough. We don't know where or how to get started. We are sure no one could possibly be interested in what happened to us, so we make up excuses. I don't have time to write. My grammar and spelling stink. People will never believe me.

Sometimes, shame silences us. We have been conditioned to keep secrets. We blame ourselves for what happened to us. Or perhaps we're still struggling with the issue. It's too painful, or sad, or maddening to put into words.

If you're having trouble getting started with your story, if you have no confidence in your ability to tell it, or you have no time or energy to devote to one more thing...welcome to the club! This is where we all started.

The good news is that help is available. 

"When the student is ready,

the teacher will appear."

~Various Attributions~

This week, I finished "Memoir as Medicine" by Nancy Slonim Aronie. As soon as I hit the last page, I started again at the beginning. If you need just a tiny jolt of reassurance, inspiration, and encouragement to pep you up, stop whatever you're doing right this minute, and order this book. Or run out and purchase it. Do it! We'll wait. While you're at it, pick up a new notebook or journal so you can take notes. Prepare to laugh, and perhaps, to cry. Prepare to begin writing. Get ready to heal.

"Writing is medicine.

It is an appropriate antidote to injury.

It is an appropriate companion for

any difficult change."

~Julia Cameron~

Now go to the author's website at https://chilmarkwritingworkshop.com/ to learn more.

jan