~taken on my walk today~
This is my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I am now almost six weeks post-op right total knee replacement. As a physician, I thought I knew what to expect going into this, but apparently I didn't. I expected pain but I didn't expect it to be excruciating. I didn't anticipate the exhaustion I felt. No one warned me about the "brain fog" I experienced that prevented me from reading, or writing, or meditating during my down-time.
I was curious to know what recovery was like for others so I joined an on-line support and recovery group:
There I was met with an out pouring of stories!
The problem was that many of the stories people shared were worrisome. Some of them were still in severe pain months after surgery. They weren't able to sleep. They never regained their range of motion or strength. Some of them developed secondary infections. Many of them regretted their decision...not what I was hoping to hear.
"Write hard and clear
about what hurts."
~Ernest Hemingway~
Some of them were, however, encouraging. Some people described how they sailed through surgery and recovery. They were sleeping well. They were driving after a few weeks and back to work in three months. They were riding their bikes or had returned to the gym...exactly what I needed to hear. Except that I wasn't up to any of that early on. So, of course, I started to doubt myself. I wondered if I should be trying harder. Pushing through. I wondered if I'd made the wrong decision, myself.
What should have been encouraging made me feel just a tiny bit jealous. When all I could do was complain, it felt like they were bragging about their success. Some of them probably were, but a few of them were kind enough to offer a little disclaimer: "I may sound like I'm bragging, but I'm not. This is hard. I just want you to know that things do get better. You can do this!"
And then, the day arrived when I turned the proverbial corner...from pain, frustration, and discouragement to healing and hope. Voila!
"Proceed as if success
is inevitable."
~Author Unknown~
So, now I have virtually no pain. Last week I was cleared to start driving. This week, I was discharged from physical therapy to a home exercise program. I'm walking an hour almost every day. Four weeks ago I would have told you this would never be possible.
The point is that, when we share our stories, they may be received in ways we don't intend. Something that strikes us as funny may touch a tender spot that brings a reader to tears. Our success may make someone else feel like a failure. When we write to comfort or encourage the reader, we may accentuate his sense of loss, frustration, or shame.
This is where a disclaimer may serve us well as writers. Instead of presenting ourselves as the undisputed expert on the topic, the final voice of authority, it may be more inviting to begin with, "This is how it was for me. Your experience may be different." Or, "This is how I see it. You may not agree." Or, "This is what I believe in. You may not." This approach embraces universal truth, which is what we should strive for. It allows us to share our story while acknowledging the legitimacy of our readers' version of their own experience, or observation, or perspective.
"The wound is where
the light enters you."
~Rumi~
We are all invited to share our stories, happy or sad. We are encouraged to tell our tales of victory and defeat. We can offer words of encouragement or despair. Everyone's story is different...and everyone hears it differently. Simply remember this:
"One day you will tell the story
of how you overcame what you went through
and it will be someone else's survival guide."
~Brene Brown~
jan
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