how to acknowledge reality and still spread compassion

When the Covid-19 pandemic is just a memory, those of us who survive will all have stories to tell. They will include tales of fear, isolation, and sorrow. Some will recall moments of relief, laughter, and kindness. Most will never be told.

"O, what an untold world

there is in one human heart."

~Harriet Beecher Stowe~

It isn't too early to start sharing our stories. We all want to know how other people are coping with the crisis, what precautions they're taking to prevent the spread of the disease, how they're faring financially, how the homeschooling is going, where they're finding supplies. The list goes on...

But there is more to it than that.

As a physician, I would like to hear from people who have gotten sick, and from their caretakers. Were they at high risk? Did they smoke or vape? Did they have asthma, or emphysema? Were they diabetic, or immuno-compromised, or frail? Alcoholic? Homeless? Did they follow all the guidelines for preventing illness, or were they careless, or defiant? 

"Nothing ever goes away until

it teaches us what we need to know."

~Pema Chodron~

In other words, I want to know what sets me apart from them. I want to believe I'm less susceptible because I'm healthier, or younger, or more compliant with preventive measures. 

I want to know how they felt when they first got sick. What finally made them call the doctor, or go to the Emergency Room. I want to know how scared they are, or how depressed. How they're dealing with being separated from family and friends. What it must be like to miss a loved one's funeral. To postpone your wedding. To run out of money. 

Stories like these help the rest of us to monitor our own response to this crisis, to adjust our expectations, and confront our mistakes and misconceptions. To acknowledge reality. To spread compassion.

"Every one has a story to tell 

that will break your heart.

And, if you're really paying attention,

most people have a story 

that will bring you to your knees."

~Brene Brown~

Please don't underestimate the importance of telling YOUR story. Someone needs to hear it. Pick up the phone, or dash off an email. Put it out there on social media. Talk it over at dinner. When it comes to frustration, regret, fear, sorrow, and despair, we're all in this together. When what we need are courage, compassion, cooperation, patience, and surrender, it helps to be able to lean on one another. 

"It is both a blessing and a curse

to feel everything so very deeply."

~David Jones~

jan