how to know when you need help

 

If you are a healthcare provider in any field, or a caretaker for someone...because it is your profession, or because you offered to help out, or because circumstances forced you into the role...you know how hard this kind of work can be. You know what it feels like to do your job when you're exhausted, hungry, scared, unsure. You know how stressful it can be when you're running behind schedule, or you're asked to work an extra shift. It can be hard to make time for your family and friends with everything your work requires. You sometimes miss your kids' games and recitals. You miss family celebrations and holiday gatherings. You do your job even though you're not feeling well or you're in pain. Or when your bladder is full.

"You must find the place inside yourself

where nothing is impossible."

~Deepak Chopra~

We all understand this. We accept it, and we choose it. It is hard at times, but this is what I think is harder. It is harder for me when someone I care about, someone I love, is struggling, and I can't be with them to lend a hand.

"I cannot do all the good the world needs,

but the world needs all the good I can do."

~Jana Stanfield~

I was reminded of this last week when my brother went into the hospital for some pretty scary tests because of a complicated assortment of medical conditions. I couldn't be there with him because he lives far, far away. Which left his wife to manage by herself.

A long time friend is navigating treatment for cancer on her own. Also, far away.

My son's dog ran out of steam this week, leaving us with broken hearts. 

Impotent: how you feel when you are kept from providing care, or support, or encouragement to someone you love, when they need it most. You feel powerless. Helpless. Empty.

"We can't help everyone,

but everyone can help someone."

~Ronald Reagan~

Which is why we need helpers. This week I had to take a step back and turn the care I longed to offer over to other people. My brother's wife stayed with him in the hospital day and night all week long. An old friend of hers stayed at my friend's side during chemo and stood by to offer whatever support she needed at home. My son's girlfriend stood by him with comfort and compassion.

I called. I sent cards. Flowers. Whatever I could. Nothing, really.

"Do all the good you can,

by all the means you can,

in all the ways you can,

at all the times you can,

to all the people you can,

as long as ever you can."

~John Wesley~

This is a reminder to accept all the help you are offered.

jan