the difference between permanent scars and invisible scars

 

1. the gash in my right eyebrow

2. the sprained ankle

3. the incident with the pitchfork

These are a few of the inconsequential injuries I survived as a child, the kind of bumps and bruises, scratches and scrapes, sprains and strains we all experience at one time or another. None is a big deal, until you know the stories behind them.

"Injuries are our best teachers."

~Scott Jurek~

I was four years old when I sustained the gash in my right eyebrow that took five stitches to close, and left me with a scar that is still visible today. But that's not the story. The story belongs to my brother who was recuperating from a near-fatal case of rheumatic fever at the time. When he came home from the hospital, he was ordered to bed for a year to rest his weakened heart. We moved his bed into the living room where he could be with the rest of the family even though he was bed-ridden. I took on the task of making him smile, not an easy thing to do. On the day in question, I was spinning around, making myself dizzy so I couldn't walk a straight line. Which he found hilarious...until I lost my balance, and fell against the corner of the coffee table. Bam! A permanent scar.

The sprained ankle happened when I was skiing in Vermont and took a tumble that caused my skiis to fly off while I slid to the end of a very steep slope on my back. My friend followed me down and managed to pick up my hat, poles, and gloves en route. Rather than make a visit to the first aid shed for an ACE and crutches, I simply tightened my ski boots...which kept the swelling down, acted as a perfect splint, and lent a whole new meaning to the word "stubborn."

The pitchfork incident occurred during an attempt to be helpful at home by digging a weed out of one of my mother's flower beds...except that the weed I was after turned out to be her most prized plant. No problem. The pitchfork slipped and impaled my foot before I could do any damage. Voila! Another enduring scar. And another reprimand...

"The pain of recovery
is sometimes worse than
the pain of the injury."

~Christine Caine~

None of these incidents was unusual, dramatic, or serious, but each of them supports a story. Yours will be different. Perhaps it was the time you had a black eye, and you lied to your teacher when she asked about it. You told her you slipped and fell in the backyard when, in truth, your father hit you in a fit of rage.

Or maybe you tell people that you always wear a tee shirt at the beach because you're prone to sunburn when you're really trying to conceal the scar that runs the full length of your chest...from the heart surgery you required to close the congenital defect that was missed at birth.

Maybe it doesn't show anymore, but your heart still races, your chest aches, and your hands shake whenever you have to cross a bridge because your best friend fell off the train trestle you were crossing when you were both just ten years old. And he didn't make it. And you had been warned to stay away from the railroad tracks...

The field of narrative medicine/healing embraces more than the technical side of illness and injury. It explores more than the biochemical, electrophysiological, and neuroendocrinological aspects of disease and trauma. It serves as a vehicle for understanding the context and meaning of illness and injury, which has everything to do with healing and recovery.

"The most important part of a story

is the piece of it you don't know."

~Barbara Kingsolver~

jan