when presence is power

 

This past week was difficult, not for me individually, but for people I know and love. It can be described in two words: helplessness, which is what I felt, and hopelessness, which was the rock bottom truth.

It started with someone close to my heart who took ill, and required hospitalization for both evaluation and treatment. It turns out the management part of the story will require long, complicated surgery. That happens tomorrow, followed by that treacherous period when we have to wait for results, and hope for healing, while trying to keep everyone's spirits up. The trouble is I can't be there. Not that I would have any role in his surgery, but I believe in the healing grace of presence. So, I feel totally helpless.

"When you love someone,

the best thing you can offer

is your presence."

~Thich Nhat Hanh~

Just as this scenario was unfolding, my friend's son was admitted to ICU with Covid pneumonia, complicated by a partial collapse of one lung. After a few bad days, he was placed on a ventilator, and a day after that, on ECMO (heart-lung bypass). I was out of town as things were going downhill for him, so again, I felt helpless. Not that I know anything about ECMO, but I do know how to lend the support, and offer the hope, and insist upon the optimism his family needed.

"At some point

you are going to want to give up.

Consider this a reminder:

don't you dare."

~Karen Salmansohn~

Then I received word that a friend's husband passed away over the weekend...while they were travelling out West with their two dogs in their brand-spanking new RV...leaving her alone somewhere in Texas to find her way home. Without him. Without hope. Which leaves those of us who love her fraught with worry and sorrow, unable to be there for her. Unable to help at all.

"Your presence is your power."

~Gabrielle Bernstein~

Not only my little speck of the world, but the entire planet appears to be blanketed with fear, pain, dread, and sorrow, as it has been for over a year now. It has frustrated us by making us feel helpless. It has discouraged us with loss of hope. 

At the same time it has generated compassion. It has made us strong. It has taught us what is precious and tender about this life we share. It has trained us to feel deeply.

"It is both a blessing

and a curse

to feel everything so very deeply."

~David Jones~

jan