how to make peace with what you imagine

 

November 14, 2020

Last week I was reading some of the metaphysical stuff I love when I came across a statement that caught my attention. It came out of a study that posited the best predictor of impending death is not the actual state of your health, but an unprovoked preoccupation with thoughts about death, even among people who are feeling fine. It concerned me because I've been thinking a lot about death recently. Who hasn't been? Every day we are confronted with its cruel reality. You can’t turn on the news without thinking about the thousands who have crossed this threshold in just the past few months. Souls who had never given death a thought.

"If I'm going to die, the best way to prepare

is to quiet my mind and open my heart.

If I'm going to live, the best way to prepare

is to quiet my mind and open my heart."

~Ram Dass~

My preoccupation with death went farther than that, though. For reasons I didn't understand, I pulled out my files on "green" burial. I found myself making a mental note of what of music I would select if my family and friends held a service of some kind for me. I searched for poetry I thought reflected my beliefs (hint: it doesn't have anything to do with heaven or hell). 

"The sun sets and the moon sets,

but they are not gone."

~Rumi~

But it went even deeper than that. I went really metaphysical with death itself. Not the burial, nor the corruption of the body, but the concept and nature of the afterlife. I reflected on issues I usually avoid, and tackled the contradictory teachings that have always left me confused and frustrated. I'm happy to say that I found the answers to some of the questions I have spent a lifetime seeking in all the wrong places. Something I can believe in. A portal to eternity.

"In the depth of your hopes and desires

lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow

your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden

the gate to eternity...

And when you have reached the mountaintop,

then shall you begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs,

then shall you truly dance."

~Kahlil Gibran~

It worried me when I came across the study that predicted my impending demise, but I'm feeling better about it, now. I realize that this unusual preoccupation with death has less to do with me than it has to do with my children and grandchildren, and with the friends I will eventually leave behind. Eventually, being the operative word. I want them to know that I no longer dread aging, or fear death. That they don't have to worry about me. That I am at peace with what I imagine will become of me. Which is the best I think we can do...imagine it. Like this:

jan