timing is everything

Timing is everything.

Two days ago I was hiking when I attempted to step off the path to let another hiker pass. In an effort to avoid a patch of poison ivy, I took the wrong step and down I went. I thought someone was going to have to carry me home on a stretcher. It took me forty-five minutes to limp back to my car.

This isn't the first time I've fallen. I slipped on a rock in Yosemite last year, and I still have the scar to show for it. A few weeks later, I pulled my hamstring doing some gentle yoga. Of course, as soon as I could walk again, I was back on the trail where I slipped on some wet leaves and really did myself in...for, like, six weeks.

This week, I'm sitting around with my leg wrapped and elevated...while reading "Still Here" by Ram Dass. Little did I know, when I started reading this book last week, that he was writing about me.

What timing!

"Most of what makes a book 'good'

is that we are reading it

at the right moment for us."

~Alain de Botton~

In this book, he describes his own experience of aging with humor, grace, and wisdom. I needed to hear about the time he took a leap onto a stage where he was about to address an audience of thousands, but missed and ended up needing stitches instead. How he ended up impaled on a coral reef during an attempt to surf with his younger companions, and how he injured his shoulder helping with a construction project he didn't have the strength for. What it was like to suffer a stroke that left him disabled, helpless, and angry until he was able to embrace the fact that reality had changed for him as he aged.

As it is changing for me.

As it is for all of us.

"This is the paradox of what we call misfortune:

that so often what we most resist

bestows on our lives

the greatest, most unexpected blessings."

~Ram Dass~

I don't know why I decided to pick up this book last week, but it found its way into my life like most good things do. By chance. With exquisite timing. While I'm laid up with an injury that reminds me getting older isn't for sissies. Or, maybe it is. Maybe it's time to think about dusting off the rocker that has been collecting dust in the basement all these years. Maybe I should learn to knit. Perhaps aging has lessons to teach us if it could only catch up with us.

Sit. Stay. Heal.

I didn't plan to engage in book reviews when I launched this site, but when pure wisdom arrives unbidden at your door, I believe you should spread the word. This:

"Everything changes once

we identify with being the witness

to the story instead of

the actor in it."

~Ram Dass~

jan

how will you live your "one wild and precious life?"

If you ever turn to a page in a book I've read that looks like this, it means one of two things. Either I had absolutely no interest at all in what I was reading, or it touched me so deeply and was so beautifully written, I forgot to make notes. It totally carried me away. Which is what happened to me this week.

I was sorting through a couple of boxes of books I'd banished into storage a few years ago (because who has enough shelves to hold all their books?) when I came across this book, one I've owned for at least 15 years, but never found time to read:

I thought it might be relevant to the times we're in. Difficult times.

The author, Elizabeth Lesser, is a co-founder of Omega Institute where I have had the privilege of studying both meditation and writing over the years, so I expected to find words of wisdom here. The profound lyricism and beauty of her words, though, surprised me. The way she spoke of birth and death, of love, of embracing what is real, of surrendering our expectations, our desires, our plans, even our hopes, and instead, submitting to what is difficult but inevitable...fear, grief, failure, rejection, loss, anger, aging...and growing into a strong, peaceful, joyful force in the world.

"When you choose to learn and grow

from the weight of the world,

you are putting your soul

in charge of your life."

~Elizabeth Lesser~

Which might explain why every one of the fifty-two short chapters in this book brought me to tears, not because her message was one of unending pain or suffering, not because it was all about inevitable sorrow, not because there is no hope...but because she nailed the truth and it is beautiful. Because she wrote in metaphors that reflected reality in lovely, gentle images. Because she made transformation into something that is desirable, necessary, and welcoming.

"May your longing for wakefulness

be stronger than your fear of change."

~Elizabeth Lesser~

If your heart has been broken open, I recommend you check out this book. If you are tottering on the brink of sorrow, fear, loss, failure, anger, or confusion...aren't we all, right now?...you may find a foothold here. 

"Tell me what it is you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life."

~Mary Oliver~

jan

everyone's story deserves to be heard

I’m pretty sure Mother Earth wobbled on her axis last week when another Black man died during an act of police brutality at a time when protests against racial injustice are already sweeping the country. I imagine the planet careening out of orbit as the Covid-19 pandemic claims hundreds of thousands of lives, and forces millions to reconfigure their lives. 

The urgent and passionate stories that erupt in the aftermath of tragedies like these hold us spellbound…horrified…as fear and sorrow unfold before our eyes. We have witnessed accounts of terror, helplessness, grief, and pain. We've heard stories of courage, strength, compassion, and faith.

I don’t know about you, but those stories silenced me. The worries I harbor, the sadness I feel, the losses I face in my own life pale by comparison. Who, I wonder, would want to hear about them?

"Writing is a struggle

against silence."

~Carlos Fuentes~

For example, I could tell you about a friend whose husband died of complications after a long bout of heart failure unrelated to the Covid-19 pandemic. I could tell you what a sweet man he was, how much they loved one another, and how much he is missed. I could tell you how hard it is to watch my grandchildren struggle with loneliness and social distancing when they're at the age they need to engage in social play. You probably already know how hard it is for friends who have lost their jobs or closed their businesses...all of it dwarfed by the magnitude of the suffering we witness on the news every day.

Perhaps something like this has happened to you. You went mute because your story sounded dull or ordinary or immaterial by comparison. You felt it was unworthy to be heard. Or unnecessary to tell.

"Write what should not be forgotten."

~Isabel Allende~

It doesn’t take a natural disaster or a or a violent uprising to shut storytellers down. We do it to ourselves all the time. We trivialize the course of our own lives, lock away our memories, and dismiss our thoughts, feelings, and convictions because we doubt ourselves. We tell ourselves our stories aren’t important.

"Write hard and clear

about what hurts."

~Ernest Hemingway~

In fact, everyone’s story deserves to be heard. Storytelling is not a contest to see whose narrative is the scariest or saddest or most horrifying. Rather, it’s the pathway to truth as each of us understands it. 

"You can't make this stuff up."

~Lee Gutkind~

jan



how civilization heals

Last week I asked you to reflect upon what you're reading, and why. This week the question is, "What are you writing about, and if you're not writing, why not?"

"We write out of revenge

against reality."

~Francine du Plessix Gray~

In that post, I suggested that what we read should excite us, guide us, and affect our perspective on some aspect of life and how we live it. It should touch on our beliefs, prompt us to take action, or simply interest us, or entertain us.The same applies to what we write about. It should interest or entertain the reader. Teach him, guide him, or expose him to a different way of thinking about things. Perhaps excite him. Maybe motivate him to take action. Or make him cry. Or make him laugh. Or appeal to his imagination.

"We read to learn about the world.

We write to change the world."

~Lori Jamison Rog~

We certainly have plenty of material to work with these days.

For example, how has the Covid-19 pandemic affected you? How are you coping? What have you learned? How to use ZOOM? How to teach algebra? How to conserve toilet paper? Have you lost your job, or closed the business you worked so hard to establish? Have you lost a friend or relative to the illness?

How has the "BLACK LIVES MATTER" movement affected you? Have you joined the protests, or remained silent? Do you understand the long and painful history of racism? What are you teaching your children about it?

Did you even hear about the massive diesel fuel spill in the Siberian wilderness that Putin was in such a rush to cover up? What about the measurable improvement in environmental pollution since cities all around the world went into lock down, unveiling the Himalayan peaks for the first time in decades?

Are you optimistic about the future, or pessimistic about it? Do you welcome change or resist it? What would you like to see happen? What will your role be?

"There is no time for despair,

no place for self-pity,

no need for silence,

no room for fear.

We speak.

We write. 

We do language.

This is how civilization heals."

~Toni Morrison~

jan