get something down...anything

 

 

I've been posting a lot about the importance of telling your story...the one that needs to be told, the one that won't go away, the story others need to hear. But have I mentioned how hard this can be to do? Have I told you how hard it is to get started? How long it can take? How confusing it can be?

 

"If I'm gonna tell a real story,

I'm gonna start with my name."

~Kendrick Lamar~

 

The story I need to write has been nagging at me for over 65 years...since I was three years old. That's when my brother and I both went into the same hospital with the same illness at the same time. The story explores the divergent paths we took through life in the aftermath of our shared experience. And how long it took to share our separate truths.

 

It begins:

          "The aftermath of childhood illness can linger for a lifetime. You think you’re over it when, out of nowhere, you remember the way the nurse rolled you onto your side and bared your little buttocks. First came the jab, then the dull ache that lasted until the next shot was due. One moment you’re a fully functioning adult. The next, you’re a sobbing three-year old.

          Like a stain that won’t come out, like a fog that never lifts, it stays with you. It can send you down a path you never intended to follow. It has the power to transform you into someone you never wanted to be. The memory of it catapults you back to a time you'd rather forget."

I started working on this project in earnest six years ago. This is as far as I've gotten. The details are vivid in my mind, the story arc is clear, and I already know how it ends. What, then, is so difficult about it?

 

I think the hardest part is convincing yourself that your story is worth telling. And after that, engaging the reader. Convincing him that your story is also his. Compelling him to read on in order to make sense of his experience in light of yours. Finding meaning not so much in the recitation of events, but in their cause and effect, in your process and outcomes, in the truth you summoned the courage to share.

 



"When you stand and share your story...

your story will heal you

and your story will heal somebody else."

~Iyanla Vanzant~

 

 

For reasons that will take a full-length book to explore, my brother spent most his adult life battling the anxiety, fear, shame, and insecurity that followed his hospitalization, as well as the addictions that helped him cope. His story is an epic quest for healing.

 

I went on to study medicine.

 

If you are mystified by the way your life unfolded as it did, if you have spent sleepless nights reflecting on the people, places, and circumstances that shaped you as a human being, if you have ever wished things had been different, you have an important story to tell.

 

"Other people are going to find

healing in your wounds.

Your greatest life messages

and your most effective ministry

will come out of your deepest hurts."

~Rick Warren~

 

If you are discouraged about telling your story because you don't know where to begin, start by writing something. Anything. Start with your name.

jan