a sigh of relief

 

 

 

True story:

 

When the nursing home called, my mother was already on her way to the emergency room. She’d been experiencing a deep cough and increasing shortness of breath for two days. When her oxygen levels fell to dangerously low levels, her doctor ordered her off to the hospital.

 

I left as soon as I got the call, hoping to get there ahead of her because you see, by this point in her decline, my mother had lost the ability to speak. She didn’t suffer from dementia. Rather, her inability to communicate was the cumulative result of multiple small strokes. I knew she would be scared and confused, and ultimately frustrated by her inability to express herself. As sick as she was, she would be unable to give her medical history or answer questions. Nevertheless, I had no doubt she would receive excellent care—the ER staff would start an IV, administer oxygen, get a chest X-ray (and a scan if needed), draw her blood, and monitor her vital signs. She would receive antibiotics, or medications for her heart, or anticoagulants depending on the test results (pneumonia vs heart failure vs pulmonary embolism). If worse came to worse, she would be intubated. The doctors and nurses would do everything they could for her automatically and efficiently, without a second thought.

 

Without knowing a thing about her.

 

“You treat a disease: you win, you lose.

You treat a person: I guarantee you win.”

~Patch Adams~

 

When I got to the emergency room, Mother was sucking down oxygen via IPPB. She was weak and pale, but alert. The minute I pulled the curtain back and stepped to her bedside, she relaxed. A faint smile of recognition and relief appeared. She closed her eyes and squeezed my hand as if to say healing could now begin.

 

“A kind gesture can reach a wound

that only compassion can heal.”

~Steve Maraboli~

 

I kept an eye on the monitors that surrounded her bed while I sat with her and explained what was happening and why. I requested an extra blanket for her. I answered the nurses’ questions. I ached to know the results of the tests the doctors had run, what her diagnosis was, what was in store for her. Through it all, I kept a smile on my face while all the worst-case scenarios played out in my imagination.

 

“Isn’t it fascinating

how long a few minutes can seem

when you are completely alone

with not a familiar face in sight?”

~Kirby Larson~

 

Imagine the relief I felt when the ER physician returned to check on her…when he drew the curtain aside and I recognized a trusted colleague, a man I knew to be compassionate, gentle, and wise. Like my mother did when she saw me, I relaxed as soon as I saw him. I smiled with a deep sense of relief and gratitude. I could talk to this man and I knew he would listen. He would treat my mother like his own, and me like a sister. As if we were family. I felt as though healing had already begun.

 

*

 

This story is intended to convey the healing power of the personal relationship between the physician and the patient…the sense of relief a familiar face can bring when everything else is foreign and frightening to the patient. It speaks to the importance of trust and confidence in the healer’s character and expertise. It should remind us to regard every patient with compassion, and to treat every patient with the same respect, kindness, and care we would extend to our best friend, and to our own family members because:

 

“I’ve learned that people will forget

what you said.

People will forget what you did,

but they will never forget

how you made them feel.”

~Maya Angelou~

 

jan