the origins of cruelty and indifference

 

Burlington Harbor

I practice meditation regularly, daily if I can. My favorite is loving-kindness meditation when I first bring to mind my family and friends, and then I move on to connect one by one with groups of people who are suffering. This includes the sick, injured, and dying, children who are neglected, abandoned, and abused, people affected by poverty, hunger, and natural disasters, and those in refugee camps and war zones, among others. It takes a while...because then I extend loving kindness to people who challenge me. And to animals who, likewise, may be abused, neglected, injured, lost, and suffering. Next come the sea creatures. The natural world. The planet as a whole...that it will survive.

It goes something like this:

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you dwell in peace and loving kindness...

...or (depending upon the situation)

may you be embraced by peace and loving kindness,

or may you come to understand peace and loving kindness,

or may you spread peace and loving kindness.

Today when I sat down and closed my eyes, it occurred to me to focus on something else...on the kind of people who are least likely to extend peace and kindness, and least likely to be offered it. People who need it the most. You know who I'm talking about: the President and his inner circle, including Vance, Hegseth, Rubio, RFK, Bondi, and Leavitt among others...

...because I don't know about you, but I am struggling to understand the conduct of our President, and I am flabbergasted that so many MAGA republicans support him. They support policies that are fundamentally unjust, illegal, and unconstitutional...but also cruel and uncaring. Some are frankly delusional, as for example, something about "medbeds" and accusations of chaos and violence on the peaceful streets of Portland, Oregon. Our leadership is obviously out of touch with reality and reason.

I found myself asking, "How does this happen among men and women who are clearly intelligent?" These are people who have risen to the top ranks of government, business, and law. How do they surrender to the deceit, lies, and delusional thinking that are clearly untrue, or unjust, or untenable? The answer may lie here:

"What happens to us as children

shapes who we become as adults."

~Alice Miller~

A while back, I wrote about childhood trauma and its lingering effects on our beliefs, behaviors, and even our health as adults. We're not just talking about physical and sexual abuse or physical neglect, but the less obvious connection between emotional pain in childhood and the inability to process it as adults. The child avoids it by shutting down, by dissociating from it. By avoiding it, they may never acquire the ability to process emotional issues. This is referred to as "emotional dysregulation." It can manifest in adulthood as denial, lack of empathy, and even outright cruelty...which is what we are observing among our legislators, now.

As a matter of fact, this connection has been investigated and confirmed in several independent studies. If you're interested, check out:

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Of course, the problems associated with childhood trauma are multifaceted and sometimes difficult to uncover. Still, I am willing to wager that most adults who are cruel, uncaring, and indifferent to the suffering of others are all victims of childhood trauma in some way. When they were most vulnerable, they did not receive love or care from the people they depended upon to help them process the fear, confusion, or the sadness that pervaded their emotional world. They sought relief in other ways. Escape. Distraction. Withdrawal. Retribution. And so, here we are. 

"Childhood trauma is the greatest

unaddressed health threat facing our nation."

~Robert Block, MD~

The treatment for problems that arise from childhood trauma, including dissociative and attachment disorders, anxiety and depression, and absence of empathy and compassion is complicated and difficult. Unless a person recognizes these issues for what they are and is genuinely dedicated to working through them, they are stuck. And so are we. 

According to Peter A. Levine, PhD., author of "Healing Trauma" and "Trauma Through a Child's Eyes":

"Trauma is perhaps the most

avoided, ignored, belittled, denied,

misunderstood, and untreated cause

of human suffering."

...which is why it is so hard to comprehend its lingering after-effects--the cruelty and indifference we observe in some adults. Victims of childhood trauma need the loving kindness they reject, but they don't understand it, so they can't embrace it. And they can't extend it to others.

The rest of us can, though. Remember:

Be kind,

for everyone is fighting a battle

you know nothing about."

~Wendy Mass~

Scatter loving-kindness to whomever you can, wherever they are, whenever you can.

No matter what...

jan