revisit. revise. recover.

 

"I write because

I don't know what I think

until I read what I say."

~Flannery O'Connor~

This observation by author Flannery O’Connor rings true to anyone who harbors a vague feeling of anxiety for no identifiable reason. 

Even though they are living in a comfortable rut—let’s say, they are financially secure, their health is good, their family is intact—they can’t deny the knot in their gut or the dull ache in their chest that suggests something is wrong. Or, maybe they wake up every day with a sense of dread, exhaustion, sadness, or isolation that screams “depression”, even though, as people like to remind them, they have nothing to be depressed about. After all, they have a steady job and a nice home, their children are doing well, and their bills are paid. They should be happy. Still, the feeling is always there…uncertainty, fear, emptiness, hopelessness. They just don’t know why.

"Worrying is like walking around
with an umbrella
waiting for it to rain."
~Wiz Kalifa~

This is where storytelling comes in. Writing enables us to seek out and sort through memories, and to locate them in time and space. It encourages us to name the gremlins that stalk us, to label our fears, acknowledge our wounds, and reimagine our lives. We are no longer the victims of some obscure fear or unacknowledged sorrow. We can claim it and conquer it.

"The act of putting pen to paper
encourages pause for thought.
This, in turn, makes us think
more deeply about life…"
~Norbet Platt~

Physicians do this for every illness—from diabetes to heart disease to cancer. We ask about symptoms. We search for causes and encourage our patients to do what they can to avoid or eliminate them. We name the disease and suggest a course of treatment. If we have done our work well, we alter the course of the illness. We take control of it. We change the patient’s narrative.

"Revision is the heart of writing."
~Patricia Reilly Giff~

This is storytelling at its finest. It is also the goal in both clinical practice and in narrative medicine. When we write about illness, we revisit the initial injury. Perhaps it was a childhood rape, or a tragic accident, or the loss of a friend or family member we couldn’t face. By naming it, we confront it. The road to recovery leads us to a new perspective or understanding of it. Then, when we read what we’ve written, we finally know what we think.

Storytelling is the very process by which we revisit, revise, and recover.

~Revisit. Revise. Recover.~

jan

 

illness, inside and out

 

Illness has to be understood in terms of its effects on the patient, both inside and out.

Within, it interrupts normal physiology and function. It alters anatomy. It causes pain. Traditionally, this has been the domain of the healer: diagnosing and treating the illness or injury by asking about symptoms, examining the patient, ordering diagnostic tests, and formulating a plan of treatment. It can all be done at the bedside.

But illness also triggers a cascade of cognitive, emotional, and psychological responses. It affects the patient’s relationships, his capabilities, his expectations, and his role in the family and community. Positive mental and emotional changes have been shown to support the ability to heal. On the other hand, negativity is believed to impede recovery. Unless we take into account the patient’s sense of self when tending to his illness or injury, we may neglect one of the most important determinants of his ability to heal.

"It may take a doctor to diagnose
someone's illness, bit it takes a friend
to recognize someone's suffering."
~author unknown~

For example, when the family's breadwinner is laid off because of illness, he loses wages. It’s possible he will lose his job, so he worries how he will support his family. Fear and uncertainty aggravate the illness. His self-respect and confidence take a punch to the gut. That’s the thing that really hurts, but he won’t tell you about it unless you ask.

"To me the ideal doctor

would be a man endowed with 

profound knowledge of life and of the soul,

intuitively divining any suffering or disorder

of whatever kind,

and restoring peace by his mere presence."

~Henri Amiel~

Or perhaps your patient is a mother with young children at home. Who will take care of them while she is in the hospital? She worries about them. She feels guilty because she can’t be there for them. She may actually lie to you in hopes of being discharged from the hospital sooner, denying the pain she still has, or pretending to be stronger than she actually feels. Her narrative is misleading.

The patient’s story extends beyond the bedside. It embraces more than his illness. One person will be crippled by it while another is healed.

We can’t understand a patient’s illness unless we understand how it affects everything and everyone around him—his family and friends. His hopes, dreams, and plans for the future. We can’t hope to heal the patient until we hear his whole story.

“The doctor may learn more about the illness
from the way the patient tells the story
than from the story itself.”
~James B. Herrick~

jan

words of wisdom for writers who sometimes waver

 

In anticipation of my presentation on the healing power of sharing our stories at the 2024 Pennwriters Conference next month, I would like to share inspiration and wisdom from some really awesome writers and teachers:

~Words of Wisdom for Writers Who Sometimes Waver~

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you."
~Maya Angelou~

"The healing that can grow out of the simple act of telling our stories is often quite remarkable."
 ~Susan Wittig Albert~
 
“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other’s stories.”
~Rebecca Falls~
 
"Telling our story does not merely document who we are. It helps make us who we are."
~Rita Charon~
 
"Writing is medicine. It is an appropriate antidote to injury. It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change."
~Julia Cameron~
 
"Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four healing salves."
~Gabrielle Roth~
 
"The greatest story commandment is: make me care."
~Andrew Stanton~
 
"One day you will tell the story of how you overcame what you went through
and it will be someone else's survival guide."
~Brene Brown~
 
"The most important part of a story is the piece of it you don't know."
~Barbara Kingsolver~
 
"If we are artists...it is our job, our responsibility, perhaps even our sacred calling to take whatever life has given us and make something new, something that wouldn't have existed if not for the fire, the genetic mutation, the sick baby, the accident."
~Dani Shapiro~"
 
There isn't a stronger connection between people than storytelling."
~Jimmy Neil Smith~
 
"Because right now there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words."
~Sean Thomas Dougherty~
 
"You'd be surprised what lengths people will go to not to face what's real and painful inside them."
~unknown~
 
“Good writing is not about good grammar. Good writing is about truth.”
~Nancy Slonim Aronie~
 
"Everything you need to know about life can be learned from a genuine and ongoing attempt to write."
~Dani Shapiro~
 
"Write about what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open."
~Natalie Goldberg~
 
“Stories are not material to be analyzed; they are relationships to be entered.”
~AW Frank~
 
“Can you tell me about a moment that was big for you…an instant when you saw things differently from then on? Not a sensational moment—you won ten-thousand dollars in the lottery, you were lost in the woods alone with no food—but a quiet moment when your whole awareness shifted?”
~Natalie Goldberg~
 
"Tell your story with your whole heart."
~Brene Brown~
 
"We read to learn about the world. We write to change the world."
~Lori Jamison Rog~
 
"Write hard and clear about what hurts."
~Ernest Hemingway~
 
"Share your story with someone. You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to rewrite their own."
~Demi Lovato~
 
"Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don't see any."
~Orson Scott Card~
 
"If a story is in you, it has got to come out."
~William Faulkner~
 
"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed."
~Sue Monk Kidd~
 
“The degree to which you can tell your story is the degree to which you can heal.”
~Stasi Eldredge~
 
“Your body’s ability to heal is greater than anyone has permitted you to believe.”
~unknown~
 
“Instructions for a long life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Write about it.”
~Mary Oliver~
 
“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.”
~Cheryl Richardson~
 
“Tell your story, because your story will heal you and it will heal someone else.”
~Iyanla Vanzant~
 
“We write out of revenge against reality.”
~Francine du Plessix Gray~
 
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.”
~Wendell Berry~
 
“At some point you are going to want to give up. Consider this a reminder:
don’t you dare.”
~Karen Salmansohn~

*

I could go on...

jan

what to do when you can't write, or you don't want to

If you have a story that keeps playing itself out just when you're dozing off at night, or after you've  been driving for a while, or when you're walking in the woods or on the beach...when your mind is free to wander and you were hoping for some peace and quiet...it may be begging you to share it with the rest of us. It may be time to put it into words on the page.

"If a story is in you, 

it has got to come out."

~William Faulkner~

The problem is that life hands us all kinds of interruptions and distractions. Some are happy events like the birth of a baby, a wedding, or an overdue vacation. We celebrate them with the people we love, and we enjoy doing it even when it puts our work on hold.

Unfortunately, some are unhappy occasions--a death in the family, the loss of a job, or an illness. Because there is so much to think about and so much to do, writing has to take a back seat for a while. People need our attention and our care. We may not be able to shake off our own sadness, or pain, or fear. It can be a challenge to put two consecutive thoughts together in proper order.

Still, when life gets in the way, we can't simply ignore it in the battle to make our word count for the day. We can't just sneak away when no one is looking to hang out with our manuscript.

In fact, we may not want to.

So what will you do when you can't write, or don't want to write? When you don't have the time, or the energy, or the motivation to line up perfect little sentences one after the other for someone else to judge?

Quoting James Baldwin:

"One writes out of only one thing--

one's own experience. 

Everything depends on how relentlessly

one forces from this experience

the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give."

~James Baldwin~

Whether your experience is sweet or bitter, savor it. Submit to every moment. Don't waste a drop. This is what will inform your writing when you do take up your work again. Anticipation, joy, and kinship, deeply felt, have the power to uplift the reader. Likewise, tribulation, well written, connects the reader with his own reality and tempers his own sorrow.

"Share your story with someone.
You never know

how one sentence of your life story

could inspire someone to rewrite their own."

~Demi Lovato~

Is it hard for you to maintain your writing practice? What is preventing you from writing? When will you begin?

"There's a secret that real writers know

that wannabe writers don't,

and the secret is this: 

It's not the writing part that's hard. 

What's hard is sitting down to write."

~Steven Pressfield~

The secret is to sit. Stay. Write. Remember that to get started:

"All you have to do is write one true sentence.

Write the truest sentence that you know."

~Ernest Hemingway~

jan