you can't make this stuff up

Don’t let the term “narrative medicine” intimidate you. This is a broad and inclusive writing niche. You don’t have to be a physician or a health care provider to practice it. You don't have to be a nurse, an aide, or a therapist. In fact, you don't need to have direct contact with patients at all.

"Everybody has a story to tell."

~Joe Strummer~

Maybe you work in the hospital laundry, and one day, a half-smoked joint falls out of the pocket of a pair of surgical scrubs you're folding. Which bleary eyed surgeon did that come from? Or, imagine you’re a janitor called to fix a leaky faucet in the middle of the night. When you walk into the room, the patient is breathing quietly. Then you hear a groan and his breathing stops. Tell us about it.

Perhaps you've been a patient. Tell us what went through your mind the day you started having chest pain. What worried you about it? Why didn’t you go to the ER sooner? 

Maybe you can tell us what it was like to wait in the ER for hours before someone came to set your child's broken wrist. What did you see there? An angry drunk in handcuffs escorted by the police? Drops of blood drying on the floor? The surreptitious pinch the doctor gave the receptionist on her behind when he thought no one was looking? You have a story to tell.

What is it we like to say? You can’t make this stuff up.

"Everybody walks past

a thousand story ideas every day.

The good writers are the ones

who see five or six of them.

Most people don't see any."

~Orson Scott Card~

Now, let’s add another plot twist.

What if the surgeon who is scheduled to replace your aortic valve in the morning was up all night because that afternoon his son totaled the car on his way home from school? What about the ICU nurse who found the cigarette burn on the shirt her ten year-old wore to school yesterday? What about the single mother who works in food service with the dull ache in her low back and unpaid bills collecting on her kitchen counter? What do you think their stories are?

What is yours?

"Tell your story with your whole heart."

~Brene Brown~

jan

how to change the way you think

 

The news this past week was discouraging. The fires in Maui, and now in Washington State. The approach of hurricane Hilary. The war in Ukraine. The oppression of women in Afghanistan. The threats posed by climate change. The ongoing political nonsense here in the US. Etc., etc...

If, like me, you sometimes just don't know what to think anymore, it may be time to change the way you think. To question what you have come to believe because of what you were taught, what you have observed, or what you have experienced in your life. To pause for a moment to reconsider your customary or conditioned response to whatever it is you're up against this time. To explore the feelings that emerge unbidden, as if on cue. Anger, hatred, fear, greed, shame. Not a healthy emotion among them. 

"If we could see the miracle of a flower,

our whole life would change."

~Buddha~

If you are looking for a way to push through fear, grief, anger, or shame, this could be your guidebook. It helped me a lot:

The author is a senior teacher in the Shambala Buddhist tradition and founder of the Interdependence Project in NYC.

Ethan Nichtern

This is not a textbook about Buddhist psychology or practice. It is not intended to promote spiritual conversion, or coercion. It is an invitation to consider looking at life from a different perspective. To examine our choices in life. To question our values. To explore our relationships. The author demonstrates how ancient Buddhist teachings can bring equanimity, connection, even peace when the life we know is chaotic, confusing, and often painful. He lives in Manhattan, so he would know.

I decided to re-read this book--this week--because I needed a good healthy dose of wisdom. I learned that a friend I thought was on the road to recovery...actually, is not. His cancer has spread. Another friend starts chemo this week. She lives alone. Another is facing a future of slow memory loss and progressive frailty punctuated by confusion. It was a bit overwhelming to contemplate.

I needed to hear about interdependence again. About loving-kindness and mindfulness. About what is true and what is deceptive. What is real and what is illusory. I needed to re-examine my response to the painful transitions my friends and family are facing...and to think about how I can be helpful to them.

"It may be that when we no longer know 

what to do, we have come to our real work,

and when we no longer know the way to go,

we have begun our real journey."

~Wendell Berry~

If the news is getting you down...if you feel powerless, victimized, or somehow blameworthy, or if the twists and turns that mark your own path through life are confusing and sometimes scary, consider this:

"The simple act of caring

is heroic."

~Edward Albert~

Caring gives you something to reach for. Something to build upon. Something to offer. 

Ask yourself, "What am I called to do in this life?" 

"What difference do I want to make in the world?"

"How will I proceed?"

"People change for two main reasons:

either their minds have been opened or

their hearts have been broken."

~Steve Aitchison~

jan

 

what we all need-to-know

 

Burlington, Vt

If you are curious about the healing power of storytelling but you haven't started writing yet, I understand. I had a hard time getting started, too. I convinced myself I lacked the skills and talent and dedication required to line up words on the page, one after another...and then, to rearrange them, over and over again until they sounded right. Until they made sense. Until they rang true.

"Words are sacred. They deserve respect.
If you get the right ones,
in the right order,
you can nudge the world a little."
~Tom Stoddard~


It's hard to know how to begin, but instead of worrying about spelling, grammar, and punctuation...instead of fretting over literary style...or judging yourself before you even begin, you might start by asking yourself a couple of questions:

What about my story does the reader need to hear?

Why?

   

The reader needs to know he's not alone. It helps to know how someone else felt when the doctor pronounced the word "cancer" for the first time. What went through his mind? How did he cope? Where did he find the courage to go on?

 

Or maybe one of your readers needs to know how you helped your daughter when she suffered a miscarriage...and how you got through it. What did you say to her? What did you do to provide relief, or comfort, or solace to her? Where did you find yours?

 

"Write about what disturbs you, what you fear,

what you have not been willing

to speak about.

Be willing to be split open."

~Natalie Goldberg~



People need to know it's OK to cry. To rage. To rest. To ask for help, and to embrace it when it's offered.

People need to know there's hope, and when hope fails, it helps to know where others turn for comfort, consolation, and support.

Where do you turn? What story can you tell? Someone, somewhere needs to hear it. When will you begin?

"The healing that can grow

out of the simple act of telling our stories

is often quite remarkable."

~Susan Wittig Albert~

jan