off topic, but worthy of reflection

 

Yesterday, at the point when I'd had enough news and political commentary to last me a lifetime, I decided to unwind with a walk in the woods. 

"Lose yourself in nature

and find peace."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

We are on the cusp of spring here in central Pennsylvania. It is cold and windy one day, warm and sunny the next, gloomy and wet the next. But, yesterday was a beautiful day, despite the cruelty and injustice that are suffocating our country right now. Despite the blows to our retirement savings and Social Security accounts. The jobs that have been lost. The looming threats to health care in this country. The violation of our basic human and constitutional rights. Despite all of it, Mother Nature managed to pull off a perfect Spring day, as if to say, "There, there. It will be all right."

This is the thing:

The sky was as blue as it has ever been. The sun was warm, and the winds had quieted to little more than a whisper. The cherry blossoms and forsythia were a profusion of color. The forest floor was blanketed with green. The birds were silent, as if lost in thought. The music I enjoyed was just as glorious as it had been the day before, and the day before that...and for years before that. 

None of that has changed, even though it seems like almost everything else has. 

"Keep close to Nature's heart

and break clear away once in a while,

and climb a mountain

or spend a week in the woods.

Wash your spirit clean."

~John Muir~

The point is that, even as the world bows down before the evil forces of greed, cruelty, violence, injustice, and hatred, its foundation remains unshaken. The animals have come out of hiding. Mother Nature has kept her word. Beauty lives on. Kindness and compassion flourish. Wisdom abounds.

"Some believe it is only GREAT POWER

that can hold evil in check...

I have found that it is the small, everyday deeds

of ordinary folk that keep 

the darkness at bay.

Small acts of kindness and love."

~Gandalf~

To that point, as I was walking along one of the isolated back roads nearby, a man on a motorcycle pulled up in front of me, dismounted, and began walking my way. I have to admit, it scared me a bit. But, it turned out that he had mistaken me for a neighbor he had frequently passed there, until the day she got sick. He hadn't seen her out for weeks. 

When he realized his mistake, he apologized. And then he said simply, "Do you pray?"

I replied, "In my own way," and he asked me to pray for his neighbor.

Which is how I think we're going to get through this: each of us in our own way. 

This was an unlikely chance encounter that served to remind me that we are on secure footing. That people are concerned and caring. That simple pleasures surround us if we turn our attention to them. That we have the power to silence the voices of evil if we will listen, instead, to the sound of the wind and rain. If we appreciate laughter and good music. If we share words of friendship, support, respect, and kindness. Each of us in our own way.

"Everybody should be quiet

near a little stream

and listen."

~Maurice Sendak~

jan

your story deserves to be told

I’m pretty sure Mother Earth wobbled on her axis last week when another child died a wholly preventable death from measles, putting the rest of us on alert because you can't tell by looking at a person if they have been vaccinated or not. I imagine the planet careening out of orbit as another helicopter took a nose dive into the Hudson River killing all aboard...including three children who were enjoying a sight-seeing tour of Manhattan.

The urgent and passionate stories that erupt in the aftermath of tragedies like these hold us spellbound…horrified…as fear and sorrow unfold before our eyes. We have witnessed accounts of terror, helplessness, grief, and pain. We've heard stories of courage, strength, compassion, and faith.

I don’t know about you, but those stories silenced me. The worries I harbor, the sadness I feel, the losses I face in my own life pale by comparison. Who, I wonder, would want to hear about them?

"Writing is a struggle

against silence."

~Carlos Fuentes~

For example, I could tell you about a friend whose husband died of complications after a long bout of heart failure. I could tell you what a sweet man he was, how much they loved one another, and how much he is missed. I could tell you about a wonderful man who drowned, alone, in his backyard pool this week, one day shy of his ninetieth birthday. You probably already know how hard it is for friends who have lost their jobs or are bracing to close their businesses given this week's political chaos...all of it matched by the magnitude of the suffering we routinely witness on the news every day.

Perhaps something like this has happened to you. You went mute because your story sounded dull or ordinary or immaterial by comparison. You felt it was unworthy to be heard. Or unnecessary to tell.

"Write what should not be forgotten."

~Isabel Allende~

It doesn’t take a natural disaster or a or a violent uprising to shut storytellers down. We do it to ourselves all the time. We trivialize the course of our own lives, lock away our memories, and dismiss our thoughts, feelings, and convictions because we doubt ourselves. We tell ourselves our stories aren’t important...

"Write hard and clear

about what hurts."

~Ernest Hemingway~

...when, in fact, everyone’s story deserves to be told. To be heard. Storytelling is not a contest to see whose narrative is the scariest or saddest or most horrifying. Rather, it’s the pathway to truth as each of us experiences it. 

"You can't make this stuff up."

~Lee Gutkind~

jan



why we need helpers

 

If you are a healthcare provider in any field, or a caretaker for someone because it is your profession, or because you offered to help out, or because circumstances forced you into the role, you know how hard this kind of work can be. You know what it feels like to do your job when you're exhausted, discouraged, or unsure. You know how stressful it can be when you're running behind schedule, or you're asked to work an extra shift. It can be hard to make time for your family and friends with everything this kind of work requires. You sometimes miss your kids' games and recitals. You miss family celebrations and holiday gatherings. You do your job even though you're not feeling well or you're in pain. Or when your bladder is full.

"You must find the place inside yourself

where nothing is impossible."

~Deepak Chopra~

We all understand this. We accept it, and we choose it. It is hard at times, but this is what I think is harder. It is harder for me when someone I care about, someone I love, is struggling, and I can't be with them to lend a helping hand.

"I cannot do all the good the world needs,

but the world needs all the good I can do."

~Jana Stanfield~

I was reminded of this when my brother went into the hospital for some pretty scary tests because of a complicated assortment of medical conditions. I couldn't be there with him because he lives far away, which left his wife to manage by herself.

I can't be there for a friend who is navigating treatment for cancer on her own. Also, far away.

All I can do is watch as another good friend cares for her daughter who is entering the late stages of ALS. 

Impotent: how you feel when you are kept from providing care, or support, or encouragement to someone you love, when they need it most. You feel powerless. Helpless. Empty.

"We can't help everyone,

but everyone can help someone."

~Ronald Reagan~

Which is why we all need helpers. Sometimes you have to take a step back and turn the care you long to provide over to other people. When my brother was sick, his wife stayed with him in the hospital day and night all week long. An old friend of hers stayed at my friend's side during chemo and stood by to offer whatever support she needed at home. Next week I'll visit my friend whose daughter is dying with ALS because it's all I can do for her.

I call. I send cards. Flowers. Whatever I can. Nothing, really. 

Or is it?

"Do all the good you can,

by all the means you can,

in all the ways you can,

at all the times you can,

to all the people you can,

as long as ever you can."

~John Wesley~

This is a reminder to accept all the help you are offered.

jan