living in a state of perpetual awe

One of perks you enjoy as a physician is that you get to live in a state of perpetual awe. It starts with the first pass of the scalpel on the first day in the anatomy lab. It continues as you tease out every organ, blood vessel, and nerve in the body you've been assigned to dissect. A sense of wonder punches you in the gut the first time you hear a beating human heart and realize your own heart has been pumping steadily and predictably without any effort on your part since before the day you were born. In fact, your heart has been beating, on average, 72 times every minute of your life. This adds up to approximately 100,000 times every day, or 3,600,000 times per year, and depending on how long you live, as many as 2.5 billion times...until the moment it stops.

But then, who's counting?

That, in itself, would be amazing enough, but I learned a few more facts this week that astounded me. Did you know that the human eye can detect a single photon? That the inner ear can detect vibrations less than the diameter of an atom, and it can distinguish sounds that are just ten millionths of a second apart? That the human olfactory system can detect a trillion distinct smells? Did you realize we can detect tactile sensations down to one billionth of a meter? 

Yay, human body!

"There is more wisdom in your body

than in your deepest philosophy."

~Friedrich Nietzsche~

This is how reality manifests on the quantum level. It reminds me once again that every process in the human body is carried out with utmost precision, perfect timing, and uncanny coordination...in ways we are just beginning to appreciate. 

But what if you've never heard of the quantum domain? What difference does it make whether you know this about your Self or not? 

The way I see it, if knowing this brings you a sense of wonder, you might be motivated to take better care of this one amazing Self you live with. Feed it well. Give it some exercise. Let it rest. Avoid poisoning it with chemicals. Encourage it. Love it. 

"Self care is a divine responsibility."

~Danielle LaPorte~

Knowing this about your Self might bring you closer to the perpetual state of awe that I enjoy. And it might affect the way you see everyone else...as something of a mystery. A wonder. A miracle. 

 

"We touch heaven when 

we lay our hand on a human body."

~Novalis~

The fact that the body knows what to do to keep itself healthy is extraordinary. The fact that it knows how to heal itself--to heal a broken bone, to close an open wound, to reanimate a lifeless heart-- is beyond the wildest imagination. The way it accomplishes it is incomprehensible.

Biologists, physicians, philosophers, theologians, and quantum theorists are hard at work trying to figure out what it is that makes us tick...while our bodies are mysteriously, silently, and predictably doing what they do best: making us who we are...beings worthy of reverence, loving-kindness, connection, peace, and joy. 

"Be good to yourself.

If you don't take care of your body,

where will you live?"

~Kobi Yamada~

To this I would add: 

Be kind to everybody.

If you don't take care of them,

how will you live with your Self?

jan

something to laugh about

 

True story.

Yesterday I learned, via Facebook, that an old friend of mine had died. Our friendship dated back to the 1970s when her husband and I were in residency together, when she and I were both pregnant at the same time, and we both chose the same name for our first-born sons. Her son, however, died in a car crash in his twenties. I hadn't seen her for years, but she seemed to be in good health at our last visit together.

I called a mutual friend to confirm the news. Yes, she had passed, the cause of her death apparently some variation on the theme of dementia. We were the same age. 

Surprising. Very sad. A little scary. 

Yesterday's phone call lasted over an hour as we reflected on our shared friendship over the years. And then, the storytelling started. Like the time she handed a waitress her library card instead of her credit card and the hilarity that ensued. This drew forth a few chuckles. And then, more stories. And more laughter.

It occurred to me that this may be a worthy goal in life: to leave people laughing when they remember us. 

Respect and admiration are nice.  Affection is lovely. Sorrow is natural. But laughter! 

"Laughter is the best medicine."

~various attributions~

jan

how much more can we take

 

I decided to surrender and post another political rant. After all, I'm not the kind to march in the streets, and I've already shared my thoughts, in writing, with every member of Congress and with Governor Newsom. Still, we're all being urged to do something to support the survival of our democracy. And what I do is write.

As a health care provider, I have a special interest in the changes that have been made to what has proven to be a safe and effective program of immunization against dangerous and preventable infections for many years. We are already witnessing a resurgence of these diseases. Children are suffering, even dying, because of it. 

I'm also not happy that the food pyramid has been turned upside down.

On a personal note, I am especially concerned about the threatened incursion into Greenland as I am planning to visit Norway in March, and I prefer not to be regarded as the enemy when I get there. That is, if the airspace stays open.

I could go on.

Here's the thing. I am reluctant to add my thoughts to the mix for several reasons. First, IMO, we've heard enough. We know all we need to know about who Trump is and what we can expect from him. We don't, or shouldn't, need to hear any more political commentary, any more lofty speeches, or probing interviews to know what kind of trouble we're in. To know how dangerous Trump and his minions are. How deranged, delusional, and yes, even demented he may be. It's time to stop the analysis, investigation, and opinion peddling that add little insight to the conversation anymore.

What we need now is action! 

...because every day, we are confronted with another report of unimaginable, indeed intolerable, cruelty. Bigotry. Lying. Cheating. Ignorance. Arrogance. Greed. Indifference. Stupidity. All of which are a threat to our democracy, to our neighbors, and to each of us individually.

Instead of holding Trump accountable...a futile effort...now is the time to hold Congress accountable. To call our senators and representatives out for their failure to take action. For their indifference. For their ineptitude. For abandoning their moral and ethical duty to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. For bowing down and out at Trump's bidding.

How much more can we take?

If marching in the streets unites us and you can get out there, you should GO! If we can flood our congressmen and women with calls to act with sanity and courage, let's do it. If expressing our opinion changes one person's mind, or moves one person to action, or gives any of us hope, we should all be speaking up. Sending emails. Calling. Conversing. Writing. We should be doing whatever we can...peacefully, courageously, and deliberately...to hold Congress accountable.

"The world will not be destroyed

by those who do evil,

but by those who watch them

without doing anything."

~Albert Einstein~

jan

when things get to be just too much...

One of this week's walks...

This past week was difficult for many of us as we tried to process the cold-blooded murder of Renee Nicole Good, an American citizen who was exercising her lawful and constitutional right to protest against ICE, peacefully, in the streets of Minneapolis on Wednesday.

When I woke up on Wednesday morning, my first thought was:

"I wish there would be some good news today...

for a change."

Then I poured myself a cup of good strong coffee, and I turned on the news. The rest is history...and it always will be.

I was trying to process that tragedy when my phone rang. It was my cousin calling to tell me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer over the holidays. Her mastectomy was scheduled for the next day.

Then, my brother called to say that his wife was on the way to the ED for evaluation of some neurological symptoms that have persisted since she suffered a minor concussion a few weeks ago. Her doctors wanted to rule out a stroke or a slow bleed.

Next in line was my daughter calling because she was worried about her great big gorgeous Great Dane. He wasn't eating. He was unusually clingy. He was also having tremors. He appeared to be in pain, but the vet couldn't fit him in that day. They'd been through something like this before...when her last Dane developed bone cancer...so that was worrisome.

Then we got the news about the couple in Portland, Oregon who were shot by federal agents during a traffic stop.

This is hard. It's hard to process the violence, pain, suffering, injustice, and heartache that seem to have become predictable themes in our collective experience, and as well, in our personal lives. We feel a combination of disbelief, grief, anger, and worst of all, despair. It can stop us in our tracks.

My question for you is this: What do you do when things get to be just too much? What do you do to take care of yourself at times like these? To calm yourself. To strengthen yourself. To catch a glimmer of hope, or joy, or peace.

I walk. It's a five-mile round trip that takes me out into the woods and along a little stream. This week, thankfully, the weather cooperated. The skies cleared, and the sun came out with unseasonable warmth. Even the wind quieted down. Twelve deer greeted me along the way. People waved hello.

It helped.

I hope you can tap into your own wellspring of beauty, wonder, peace, and possibility. A moment of joy. A reason for hope. 

Remember:

"Not everything that is faced

can be changed,

but nothing can be changed 

until it is faced."

~James Baldwin~

jan

 

"release your majestic mind, embrace your untamed spirit, and break free from captivity" in 2026

I'm not a fan of making New Year's Resolutions. It's a time-consuming process that smacks of self-discipline, grim determination, and Herculean effort...and it often ends in failure. So, last year, I turned my attention to wishful thinking. This has a more optimistic ring to it. It suggests we believe...or hope...that the new year holds limitless possibility for us...the possibility that good will come to us, that our burdens will be lifted, that help is available. It enables us to envision a world at peace, to imagine an end to poverty and hunger, to hope for an elusive cure, to pray for an end to suffering. 

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work too well, either...given the fact that the shift toward world peace, compassion, and caring I was wishing for never materialized. Instead, we witnessed an escalation in greed, cruelty, and bigotry that fed into war, poverty, and pain. Fear. Dread. Despair.

So...what now? 

If 2025 was a difficult year for you...because of illness or loss, because of hunger or homelessness, because of loneliness, or failure, or rejection, or simply because you stay abreast of the news...how will you navigate 2026? Because, trust me, we will be tested. We will witness heartbreaking cruelty toward immigrant families and children. We will see an uptick in preventable diseases affecting our children. The LGTBQ+ community will suffer. We will feel the pain of racism, misogyny, injustice, and greed. Of war. We already feel it. And we will feel helpless to change it. We already do.

Which is why I believe that self-care will be more important than ever in the New Year. 

"Self-care is a divine responsibility."

~Danielle LaPorte~

This may include a few traditional resolutions like exercising more, improving your diet, or balancing your budget...but it involves so much more. Here is some advice for the New Year from people I admire and respect:

"Be good to yourself. 

If you don't take care of your body, where will you live?"

~Kobi Yamada~

❄

"Do more of what makes you happy."

~attribution unknown~

❄

"Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head

to sit down and shut up."

~Ann Bradford~

❄

"Release your majestic mind,

embrace your untamed spirit,

break free from captivity..."

~Melanie Muller~

❄

"Everybody should be quiet

near a little stream and listen."

~Christopher Robin~

❄

"Tell your story

with your whole heart."

~Brene Brown~

❄

"Keep close to Nature's heart...

and break clear away once in a while,

and climb a mountain or spend a week

in the woods.

Wash your spirit clean."

~John Muir~

❄

 

"Walk as if you are kissing the earth

with your feet."

~Thich Nhat Hanh~

❄

"Never stop questioning."

~Albert Einstein~

❄

That's just for starters. Above all, remember this:

"The bad news is: a lot can change in a year.

The good news is: a lot can change in a year."

~attribution unknown~

❄

In the meantime, my New Year's wish for you is for deep peace, however you imagine it, whatever it takes for you to embrace a few moments of it, whomever you choose to share it with. 

How will you take care of yourself and those you love in the New Year?

Remember that those who are difficult to love need it, too.

They probably need it the most.

jan

 

"whisper words of wisdom" on Christmas day

"Always be prepared

for something amazing to happen."

~Melanie Perkins~

Wishing everyone pure joy and boundless optimism this Christmas.

If yours can't be merry this year, then may it at least be white.

If you don't care for snow, may it simply be...enough.

~www.tcpalm.com~

Words of wisdom:

"Let it be."

~John Lennon~

jan