Monday, October 14, 2024

why you must remain open-minded



After I retired from the practice of traditional Western medicine, I explored a host of "alternative" or "complementary" healing practices that I had been taught to believe were about as effective as snake oil. All of them hocus-pocus. But I'd seen them work, so I was curious about them. My interest in these practices dates back to my experience with hypnosis in the 1970s, thanks to the work of people like Milton Erickson, widely acclaimed to be the father of modern hypnotherapy.

True story:

In 1973, I was in my third year of medical school in upstate New York. Winter that year was brutal. We braced for frigid temperatures and measured snowfall in feet, not inches. Danger lurked everywhere. People filed into emergency rooms with broken arms and legs, amputated fingers from snowblower mishaps, and frostbite. They suffered heart attacks and serious back injuries while shoveling snow. The ER in winter was a good place for a medical student to learn the ropes. How to suture an open wound. How to set a broken bone. How to rewarm frozen fingers.

One Saturday night, when I was shadowing the orthopedic resident on call for the weekend, we were paged to the Emergency Room to see a woman who had slipped on the ice in her driveway, fallen, and dislocated her elbow. This is a painful injury, and it usually requires strong pain medication and sedation or light anesthesia before the injured joint can be safely realigned and immobilized.

Interestingly, the resident I was with that night had earned a reputation as something of a maverick among his colleagues  He'd orchestrated his own inguinal hernia repair under self-hypnosis when he was an intern...no anesthesia needed, thank you very much...and he was known for offering hypnosis to his patients in lieu of anesthesia for certain procedures, as well.

This was back in days when alternative approaches to healing were met with derision and even mockery by traditionally trained physicians like myself. So, I was a little skeptical when the resident offered to hypnotize the woman with the injured elbow, and she readily agreed. 

He simply instructed her to direct her gaze upward while she slowly closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten. Ten. Nine. Eight...and she was out. He gave her elbow a yank and a twist to relocate it, wrapped it, and asked her to open her eyes. She walked out a happy woman.

I was sold. So sold, in fact, I went on to study self-hypnosis, and I eventually underwent a surgical procedure without sedation or anesthesia myself. Afterwards, I climbed off the gurney, got dressed, and went out for lunch. So, I know it works...

It didn't take a huge leap of faith to move from hypnosis into a meditation practice, and from there to consciousness studies, and from there, to energy practices, all of which were…and, for the most part, still are...regarded as nonsense in the "real" health care community where I practiced medicine for thirty years.

Most mainstream medical providers deny or dismiss the validity of energy medicine...practices that are believed to free up and move internal energy. Not everyone believes that focused attention or consciousness can redirect or release energy in the body, and that this can lead to healing. But many people do believe in it. They dedicate their lives to it. They train for years. They include practitioners of therapeutic touch and Reiki, sound healers and crystal healers, chakra and aura healers, faith healers and shamans, acupuncturists, Ayurvedic healers, yogis and Qigong healers, among many others...

...which intrigues me. Not only how energy medicine works...but the fact that it works at all. And the fact that so few health care providers are aware of these techniques, or curious about them, or receptive to them, because, lacking randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind studies to prove their worth, they don't believe in them. 

The prevailing bias against these practices and techniques arises out of the usual arguments citing the placebo effect. It denies the subjective influence of the healer's presence and touch, of empathy, connection, and open heart, all of which have been shown to play a role in healing. It ignores the fact that the therapeutic efficacy of many traditional Western medicines and practices also depend upon the placebo effect. They work because the patient expects them to work. Because the patient believes they work. Because they trust their healthcare provider. The efficacy also depends upon the interaction between the patient and the health care provider, including his attentiveness, ability to communicate, and to instill trust and hope.

"The placebo effect is scientific proof
that we have the ability
to heal ourselves."
~Dr. Kelly Brogan~ 

Health care is based upon science. Upon research. Upon observational studies and outcome statistics. If you are a health care provider, or if you see one, you trust medical science. You have studied it, or observed it, or experienced healing because of it. You are also aware of its shortcomings.

Many traditionally trained physicians reject the role and efficacy of alternate approaches to healing, among them hypnotherapy and energy medicine, because they haven't studied them or tried them. This is blatantly unscientific. The true scientist is curious about things he doesn't understand. He makes an effort to learn about them. He tests them out. He tries them for himself.

Opening ourselves to possibility, exploring issues we are curious and even skeptical about, and embracing our intuition when it contradicts what we have been taught or conditioned to believe all enable us to choose our way forward. To live fully. To break away when we are torn by the dualities we encounter…what we are taught to believe versus what we observe or experience in our lives, what we are conditioned to accept and defend even when it violates our deeply held beliefs, our tendency to deny the truth when it offends our perception of reality.

As health care providers and consumers, instead of rejecting outright what we don't believe in, or understand, or trust, we should explore, observe, and evaluate for ourselves. Who knows what we might learn that will help us heal others...and ourselves.

"Be open-minded...
Free yourself of preconceptions...
Question everything, even yourself."
~Loren Salmansohn~
jan

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LIC

 

Most people I know enjoy visiting the zoo where they are guided by colorful banners and propelled by children’s laughter and their shrieks of anticipation and awe. Where lumbering elephants, yawning hippos, and acrobatic monkeys appear to live in peace, their needs met and the purpose of their lives fulfilled. It’s reassuring to know they don’t have to worry about being eaten alive, starving to death on the Serengeti, or drowning in a pool of mud. This is how I saw it when I was a child, although my thoughts on the subject have changed over the years.

Now that I’m older, I wonder if the animals are as content as they appear to be in their cages, satisfied with their man-made habitats, and happy behind the fences that surround them. I wonder why they pace endlessly and aimlessly back and forth, or sleep the day away when they haven’t been forced to chase down prey or run for their own lives. How do they satisfy the ancestral instinct to migrate as the seasons change? To evade and escape predators? To search for food and water? What happened to the native intuition that enabled their survival and propagation over the millennia? Is there something missing? Something they long for but can’t identify or express?

How did they end up there in the first place?

I wonder about it because I sometimes feel the same way. I find myself asking the same kind of questions. “How did I end up here?” In this place? With this job? With this person?

What is my purpose in life, a real sticking point as I age. Why do I sometimes feel empty? Lonely? Who am I

Are there other options? Is there a way out? How can I free myself? What else is possible?

Welcome to the lineage of thinkers, spiritual explorers, and intellectual seekers who have confronted these same questions ahead of you, for thousands of years. Plato, Socrates, Aristotle. Buddha. Mohammad. Jesus and Mary. Emerson and Thoreau. Your own pastor or priest. Your grandparents, and theirs. Every human being who has contemplated the end of life, none of whom has arrived at the answer, the fundamental truth. Something is missing. That

First came the promises. You’ll be safe, cared for, protected. Then, the enticements. Food. Shelter. Affection. You thought you would be happy. Successful. At peace. But you’re not. You were tricked.

The promises came from people you trusted or depended upon when you were too young, or naïve, or ________to understand what was happening. From your parents and teachers. Your friends and family. Priests and pastors. They came from people who asserted power over you, manipulated you, even coerced you. They deceived you while claiming to have your best interests at heart. “This is the way,” they told you. If you hope to be embraced in this life, if you seek success and happiness, this is what you have to do. If you hope to enter heaven this is what you have to believe. And because you were lost, lonely, and hungry, or because you felt threatened, or because you didn’t know any better, you did what they told you to do. You fell for it. 

It is also possible you misunderstood what they were trying to tell you. Or you felt pressured to conform, even though you were uncomfortable with their expectations, conduct, and values.

Then, you realized there were rules. Requirements. Contingencies. 

After all, you were inundated with images and behaviors that offended your sense of propriety, good sense, and community.

There was a lot at stake.

If you have visited a zoo, or an animal shelter, or a sanctuary you know what I mean. The animals surrendered to captivity when they were vulnerable. Perhaps they’d been abandoned, or they were hungry or injured. It wasn’t until the gate closed behind them that they realized it takes more than food to satisfy real hunger. More than a roof over your head to feel safe. More than an adoring audience to fulfill your dreams.

Likewise, it takes more than a big house, or a sporty car, or new wardrobe to make you happy. More than wealth, or power, or accolades to satisfy your longing. Not until the gate closes behind us do we realize we have been tricked. We are trapped.

We thought we would be happy, but we aren’t. We thought our problems would disappear, but they didn’t. We thought our prayers would be answered, but they haven’t been. Instead, we find ourselves tethered to someone else’s idea of right and wrong. Rich and poor. Happy and sad.

We are conditioned to surrender to other people’s opinions, and to the conclusions we drew as children that became our beliefs about who we are and what we deserve in life. By the time we realize this is not__________________

And so, we pace. We search for a way out. But the thought of leaving safety and security behind can be scary. The idea of making our own way in the world, of questioning or abandoning the people we depend upon immobilizes us. We look for freedom, a new job, a new church, a different partner…………….until we end up so exhausted, so frustrated, so unhappy we give up. We curl up in a corner and go to sleep. We follow rituals that have no meaning to us. We spout the platitudes we grew up with, trivialize our doubts, and surrender rather than embracing our own innate wisdom and reason.

This is life in captivity, where the way we’re meant to see the world is laid out for us. Where people who claim to know it all, tell us what we should believe, what we are supposed to do, and how we should see ourselves. Which is fine if they tell you you’re bright, capable, kind, handsome, and strong. The problem is that it doesn’t always come out that way. Instead____They make you feel weak, stupid, lazy, unlovable, or worthless. You end up believing it, and you can’t shake it off. And because they appear to know what they’re talking about, you do what you’re told. IE:

 

Finding your way out is really about finding your way back


 
 
 
. ‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it works…You are not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding Yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”
***

 

 


Tuesday, October 8, 2024

home at last




I'm baaaack! Well, let's just say I'm back home physically following the trip of a lifetime with my daughters to Italy and Switzerland, even though part of me is still there...mentally, emotionally, and spiritually...still overawed by the immense beauty of the Alps, and the expansive wilderness that felt like home to me, at last.

"The mountains are calling,
and I must go."
~John Muir~



I decided not to post a whole gallery of photos (I have hundreds of them...) because, as we all know, the pictures we take never seem to capture the grandeur of the reality we are witnessing. They don't reflect the emotions we feel in that place, at that moment. They serve as tokens of our experience, but don't resonate with others the way they do for us. 

"The wilderness is healing,
a therapy for the soul."
~Nicholas Kristoff~



Meaning, you must experience it for yourself. You must go. 

Here is my advice:
  • While you're thinking about where you'd like to go, save your money. Pass on the latest fashion trends and high tech gadgets. Instead, invest wisely so when the opportunity arises, you can afford to go without scrimping or feeling guilty about it.
  • Go when you're still young enough and strong enough to do and see everything you'd hoped for. Before you lose your chance.
  • Go with people you love.
  • Be flexible. Welcome whatever unfolds as part of the adventure.
  • Consider a one-way ticket. You may want to stay there. Forever.

"Keep close to Nature's heart...
break clear away once in a while,
and climb a mountain or spend a week
in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean."
~John Muir~



Remember:

"Not all who wander are lost."
~JRR Tolkien~
jan








Monday, September 16, 2024

the more you read, the more you know


Burlington Harbor


Just a head's up: I'll be going off the grid for the next two weeks to enjoy some bucket-list worthy travel with two of my favorite people on the planet--my daughters. We're off to Lake Como in northern Italy, and from there, up into the Swiss Alps to a little village called Wengen. I've been working out and walking a lot for the past few weeks to get in shape for some hiking. I picked up a few necessary items: a good backpack, hiking shoes, and a jacket (it snowed there last week!). My bags are packed. Our itinerary is tentatively in place. There's just one problem: what will I read on the way??

"Reading can take you places 
you've never been before."
~Dr. Seuss~

Case in point...

In addition to laying in supplies and challenging my legs in preparation for our trip, I picked out a couple of books that sounded interesting. Nothing too thick or heavy. I have a hard time focusing on reading in an airplane unless I'm seriously engaged in the topic, so I came up with a few books that were referenced in something else I was reading or books I found in the bibliography or on-line. The problem is now I can't decide which ones will come with me. 

I have "Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It sounded apropos, but I actually ordered it a while back in preparation for a meditation retreat with him next year, some twenty years after my first retreat with him.



But...I'll probably finish it before we leave.

Which leaves me with three other choices:

It also sounded apropos considering what is happening in our world...but that's not what it's about. 

"When We Cease to Understand the World shows us great minds striking out into dangerous, uncharted terrain. Fritz Haber, Alexander Grothendieck, Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger: these are among the luminaries into whose troubled minds we are thrust as they grapple with the most profound questions of existence. They have strokes of unparalleled genius, they alienate friends and lovers, they descend into isolated states of madness. Some of their discoveries revolutionize our world for the better; others pave the way to chaos and unimaginable suffering. The lines are never clear.
With breakneck pace and wondrous detail, Benjamín Labatut uses the imaginative resources of fiction to break open the stories of scientists and mathematicians who expanded our notions of the possible."

...like quantum theory, singularity, and nuclear fission. Enough to drive anyone mad.

    2.


The author of this book is an experimental psychologist and clinical hypnotherapist who starts off with the three concepts that drove my interest in alternative healing methods early on, in the 1970s, when all of it was (and for many of the orthodox medical elite, still is) considered snake oil...hogwash...naive stupidity. These include clinical hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming, and neuroplasticity, among others. 

This one is definitely going with me!

    3.


In this book, the author revisits the wisdom that suggests our emotions are inseparable from our physiology and health. He explores the idea that repressed emotions create stress that can lead to disease, in particular auto-immune diseases...which is big issue in my family of origin. So, of course, I'm interested. He argues that taking time to listen to our patients' stories is a lost art.

This one will be going with me, too. 

So, I guess that's settled.

Not a mystery or romance among them. No fantasy or horror. Nothing to do with politics. Nevertheless...if that's what you prefer to read, we can still be friends, right? Right??

"The more you read, the more things you know.
The more that you learn,
the more places you'll go."
~Dr. Seuss, again~

Bis Widerhuege! Which is Swiss German for goodbye...see you again!
jan










Tuesday, September 10, 2024

how to feel better about things

 

Tanzania 2012

Last week we were reminded once again...as if we needed a reminder...that the world we live in is a conglomeration of both beauty and ruin, of cruelty and kindness, of contentment and despair. Of joy and grief. Of pain. Of mystery. It's a lot to think about.

We saw school children embracing one another in tears at the senseless gun violence that took down two of them and two of their teachers in Georgia. We watched children wander aimlessly through the rubble of what used to be home for them in Gaza. We were subjected to more political nonsense that included insults, lies, and denial from people we should be able to trust to defend the freedom, justice, and equality our nation was built upon.

"Suffering by nature or by chance
never seems so painful as
suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another."
~Arthur Schopenhauer~

Suffering is not only painful to witness, but it can leave us feeling helpless. Frustrated. Heartbroken. Thank goodness for goodness. For kindness, gratitude, and forgiveness. For people who step up to feed the hungry. For people who do what they can to provide relief. Comfort. Solace. Thank goodness for people who speak the truth and act on it...

"Although the world is full of suffering, 
it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~

...because suffering has a tendency to overwhelm us. We need to remind ourselves that goodness abounds. It can help to seek out and appreciate beauty. To embrace friendship. To contemplate the mysteries that surround us. As Neil DeGrasse Tyson tells us, 

"Everyone should have their mind blown
once a day."
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson~

If you feel overwhelmed, or angry, or broken by the suffering you are experiencing yourself, or witnessing around you, or learning about from afar, contemplate the problem and explore the ways you might be able to help. Volunteer. Donate. Speak up. Set an intention or send up a prayer if that seems to work for you. 

If you feel thwarted or helpless, give yourself permission to think about something else for a little while. Let yourself rest. If all else fails, make an effort to put things into perspective. Contemplate the stars in the night sky. Read something by Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

"The universe is under no obligation
to make sense to you."
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson~

Listen to something by Bach or the Beach Boys. Step outdoors even if it's raining. Find a tree to hug. A dog to pet. A baby to hold. You'll feel better. 
jan






Sunday, September 1, 2024

don't quit your daydream

 


This week I started reading “Writing from the Heart” by Nancy Slonim Aronie for the third time.



This book is intended to encourage and inspire reluctant or disheartened writers to trust themselves, to take the risk of living from the heart, and to embrace the art of writing from the heart. I think all of us, writers or not, can learn from this book.

I know the author's words ring true to my experience. My inner critic is always beating up on my inner child, discouraging the poor kid from trying new things, nit-picking every unintentional goof-up, bullying her until she’s ready to give up completely. First, it was the dream of going to med school:

“The competition to get in is fierce.”
“Maybe nursing would be a better choice.”
“They don’t take many women, you know.”

Even now, later in life, I have to turn a deaf ear to all those other voices, the self-appointed experts who claim to have my best interests at heart as they rattle off disparagement:

“Start writing at your age? Really??”
“But you’ve never written a thing in your life.”
“Why would anyone give up a career in medicine? Why now??”

It’s no wonder we get discouraged as children when our creativity, curiosity, and energy levels are at their highest. The problem is that these same voices stalk us into adulthood. They can stop us in our tracks.

Which is why we all need encouragement, not just to write, but to live from the heart. As I read this book again, it occurs to me that we can all benefit from Aronie’s words, especially when we start to think about beginning something a new, when we still cling to a dream we once abandoned because we were told it was unrealistic, or unproductive, or unattainable.

Maybe you’re thinking about going back to school, or taking up piano. Maybe you’d like to try sky diving or scuba diving. Perhaps you’re drawn to carpentry or improv theater, but something inside you is holding you back.

“It’ll take too long.”
“It costs too much money.”
“I’d just be wasting my time.”

It may be time to raise your voice. Stand up to that inner critic. Stick up for the child who was bullied out of following his/her heart. Make sure the same thing isn’t happening to you now.

Whatever you do...

"Don't quit your daydream."
~attribution unknown~

Have a great week!
jan

Sunday, August 25, 2024

narrative vs visceral memory




A few years ago, I was working on a project through a site called "Storyworth." Every week they sent a writing prompt and I submitted a short piece in response, usually a brief memoir or autobiographical ditty. At the end of the year, I had 52 stories that they assembled into a book I gave to my children and grandchildren for Christmas. It included topics like "What was your favorite candy when you were a child," and "Did you have any pets when you were a child?" Nothing too deep.

One week, I tackled this one: "What Is One of Your Earliest Childhood Memories?"

I'd been avoiding the topic because my earliest memories date back to my hospitalization with rheumatic fever when I was three years old, not a happy tale to tell. I've written about it before. In fact, I published a brief memoir about the ordeal a couple of years ago. I have analyzed the experience in detail from every perspective over the years. I thought I was at peace with it.

I jotted down a few lines and then I went on-line to search for a couple of pictures. I found an image of The Children's Hospital of Buffalo, where I spent two weeks when I got sick. 


Then I found this:

www.ECMC.edu

This is a photograph from the Acute Scarlet Fever Ward at the hospital, and it made me catch my breath. It is exactly as I remember the ward I was in. Except that it was taken many years before my admission there, that little girl could be me. That was where my bed was in the ward. In the bed next to me was a boy about five years old. Back then the nurses wore stiff white uniforms, and they were proud to wear the official nursing caps they worked so hard to earn. I remember it all, but I did not expect the gut-punch I took when I saw this picture. It brought me to tears, it was so uncannily real to me. 

It made me wonder where that emotion has been hiding all these years, and why I felt it so viscerally when I saw this image.

It turns out we store memories in different ways. Narrative memory is the story we tell about what happened to us. Visceral memory expresses the sensory and emotional experience of the story without using words. It's what we feel, physically and emotionally, when the memory emerges. Fear. Sorrow. Anger. A racing heart. Sweaty palms. Nausea. 

"Trauma comes back as a reaction,
not as a memory."
~Bessel van der Kolk~

It's important for health care providers to understand the difference. I can describe the ward where I was hospitalized in great detail. I can tell you about the other children who were there with me. I remember the toys and books I kept at my bedside. I can tell you the whole story calmly and accurately, as though it were no big deal. In fact, I can narrate my entire medical history without blinking an eye. But there's more to it than that. Apparently, something else is still stored away inside, unwilling to be acknowledged and released. Something that still needs to heal.

When a patient presents with anxiety or depression that doesn't seem to fit the picture, or his symptoms don't respond to treatment, think about unresolved childhood trauma. When he senses a racing heart but his EKG is normal, or his headaches won't go away, go back in time with him. What triggers it? A certain song? The scent of his mother's cologne? The sight of a needle? Or like me, a random photograph I came across on-line? 

Narrative memory may be clear and accurate while visceral memory lurks in the shadows. Without warning, an innocent trigger can release a lifetime of unexpected emotion that can wreak havoc on the body. If you're a healthcare provider and things don't add up, go back. Try again.

"I may look peaceful,
but don't provoke the beast."
~Gautham Balaji~
jan




Sunday, August 18, 2024

narrative medicine~not just for doctors

 

The program in narrative medicine that was conceived, developed, and implemented at Columbia University under the leadership of Rita Charon, M.D., PhD. teaches medical students and residents to reflect upon and to write about illness as it affects their patients.

 

 
This goes beyond traditional training which is satisfied with arriving at an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment plan. It involves much more than clicking the bullets on an EMR. Exploring the patient's narrative provides insight into the ways illness/injury changes every aspect and every relationship in their patients' lives. Their sense of self. Their ability/inability to fulfill their perceived role in the family and in society as a whole. Their fears and sorrows. Where they find strength. What gives them hope. This process enables doctors to see their patients as more than interesting or challenging cases. It empowers them to tend to the whole person--body, mind, and spirit.
 
"Stories are not material to be analyzed;
they are relationships to be entered."
~A.W. Frank~
 
This practice improves the physician's sense of engagement with his patients. It deepens empathy. It has been shown to improve physician satisfaction and to lessen the likelihood of burn-out.
 
"Writing improves clinicians' stores of
empathy, reflection, and courage."
~Rita Charon, MD, PhD~
 
But narrative medicine isn't just for doctors.
 
Everyone who works in a health care system carries untold stories with them. Nurses and aides, EMTs and first responders, and therapists in every field have important stories to tell. Even staffers such as receptionists, orderlies, and even maintenance and food service workers all have stories they could share with us.
 
"While medicine creates material
for writing, perhaps even more important
is that it also creates
a psychological and emotional
need to write."
~Daniel Mason~
 
But narrative medicine isn't just for them, either.
 
The book on narrative medicine begins with the patient's story...a story almost everyone can tell. If you have ever visited a doctor's office or an emergency room, or been admitted to the hospital, or been a caretaker for a friend or family member, reflecting on the experience can help you organize your thoughts about it. It encourages you to sort out and name your feelings about it. It clears away confusion, and that eases fear. When you tell your story and someone hears it, you both learn from it. When you write your story and someone reads it, you leave part of your burden on the page.
 
Storytelling applied to the practice of medicine is more than helpful. It is a healing process.
 
"Writing is medicine.
It is an appropriate antidote to injury.
It is an appropriate companion
for any difficult change."
~Julia Cameron~
 
jan