storytelling~the healing path
"The degree to which you can tell your story is the degree to which you can heal."~S. Eldredge
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
how do you process suffering?
Monday, November 4, 2024
thinking ahead to winter
Zermatt, Switzerland |
Do you dread winter's arrival? If so, you probably wish today would last forever.
I stepped outside this morning just as the sun came up expecting to feel a chill in the air and a gusty wind in my face. Instead, the day dawned quiet and bright. The sky a deep, clear blue. The remaining foliage bright red and gold. The sun warm and welcoming.Not a cloud in the sky. Not a breeze.
Not a dog barking in the distance or a plane rumbling overhead. It was silent and still outside. Even the birds--usually so chatty in the morning--seemed to respect Mother Nature's need for a little peace and quiet. This, ahead of a cold front that is working its way in our direction, bringing with it the gusty winds and falling temperatures that will get us thinking ahead to winter.
With that in mind, here is a short passage from my novel, "The Bandaged Place", that describes the change of seasons:
There are pumpkins on every porch—Smiley, Goofy, Grumpy, Spooky—so that Middleburg takes on a personality of its own. This is one of those powder puff mornings when the rising sun causes everything to blush. The air is so still that the chimney smoke reaches straight up into the soft pink haze that clings to the treetops. Instead of dew, we awaken to the glitter of frost on the grass, to ice on the windshield, to breath that crystallizes in mid-air. I can tell that snow is on the way. I know it as surely as I know the smell of honeysuckle in May, of fresh cut grass in July, and burning leaves in October.
"I prefer winter and fall,
when you feel the bone structure of the landscape.
Something waits beneath it.
The whole story doesn't show."
~Andrew Wyeth~
Sunday, October 27, 2024
take my advice
Enjoy the next nine days while you can!
Monday, October 14, 2024
why you must remain open-minded
After I retired from the practice of traditional Western medicine, I explored a host of "alternative" or "complementary" healing practices that I had been taught to believe were about as effective as snake oil. All of them hocus-pocus. But I'd seen them work, so I was curious about them. My interest in these practices dates back to my experience with hypnosis in the 1970s, thanks to the work of people like Milton Erickson, widely acclaimed to be the father of modern hypnotherapy.
True story:
In 1973, I was in my third year
of medical school in upstate New York. Winter that year was brutal. We braced
for frigid temperatures and measured snowfall in feet, not inches. Danger
lurked everywhere. People filed into emergency rooms with broken arms and legs,
amputated fingers from snowblower mishaps, and frostbite. They suffered heart
attacks and serious back injuries while shoveling snow. The ER in winter was a
good place for a medical student to learn the ropes. How to suture an open
wound. How to set a broken bone. How to rewarm frozen fingers.
One Saturday night, when I was shadowing
the orthopedic resident on call for the weekend, we were paged to the Emergency Room
to see a woman who had slipped on the ice in her driveway, fallen, and
dislocated her elbow. This is a painful injury, and it usually requires strong
pain medication and sedation or light anesthesia before the injured joint can
be safely realigned and immobilized.
Interestingly, the resident I was with that night had earned a reputation as something of a maverick among his colleagues He'd orchestrated his own inguinal hernia repair under self-hypnosis when he was an intern...no anesthesia needed, thank you very much...and he was known for offering hypnosis to his patients in lieu of anesthesia for certain procedures, as well.
This was back in days when alternative
approaches to healing were met with derision and even mockery by traditionally
trained physicians like myself. So, I was a little skeptical when the resident
offered to hypnotize the woman with the injured elbow, and she readily
agreed.
He simply instructed her to direct her
gaze upward while she slowly closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten.
Ten. Nine. Eight...and she was out. He gave her elbow a yank and a twist to relocate it, wrapped it, and
asked her to open her eyes. She walked out a happy woman.
I was sold. So sold, in fact, I went
on to study self-hypnosis, and I eventually underwent a surgical procedure
without sedation or anesthesia myself. Afterwards, I climbed off the gurney, got
dressed, and went out for lunch. So, I know it works...
It didn't take a huge leap of faith to
move from hypnosis into a meditation practice, and from there to consciousness
studies, and from there, to energy practices, all of which were…and, for the most part, still are...regarded as nonsense in the "real" health care community where I
practiced medicine for thirty years.
Most mainstream medical
providers deny or dismiss the validity of energy medicine...practices that are
believed to free up and move internal energy. Not everyone believes that
focused attention or consciousness can redirect or release energy in the body,
and that this can lead to healing. But many people do believe in it. They
dedicate their lives to it. They train for years. They include practitioners of
therapeutic touch and Reiki, sound healers and crystal healers, chakra and aura
healers, faith healers and shamans, acupuncturists, Ayurvedic healers, yogis
and Qigong healers, among many others...
...which intrigues me. Not only how energy medicine works...but the fact that it works at all. And the fact that so few health care providers are aware of these techniques, or curious about them, or receptive to them, because, lacking randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind studies to prove their worth, they don't believe in them.
The prevailing bias against these practices and techniques arises out of the usual arguments citing the placebo effect. It denies the subjective influence of the healer's presence and touch, of empathy, connection, and open heart, all of which have been shown to play a role in healing. It ignores the fact that the therapeutic efficacy of many traditional Western medicines and practices also depend upon the placebo effect. They work because the patient expects them to work. Because the patient believes they work. Because they trust their healthcare provider. The efficacy also depends upon the interaction between the patient and the health care provider, including his attentiveness, ability to communicate, and to instill trust and hope.
that we have the ability
to heal ourselves."
~Dr. Kelly Brogan~
Health care is based upon science. Upon research. Upon observational studies and outcome statistics. If you are a health care provider, or if you see one, you trust medical science. You have studied it, or observed it, or experienced healing because of it. You are also aware of its shortcomings.
Many traditionally trained physicians reject the role and efficacy of alternate approaches to healing, among them hypnotherapy and energy medicine, because they haven't studied them or tried them. This is blatantly unscientific. The true scientist is curious about things he doesn't understand. He makes an effort to learn about them. He tests them out. He tries them for himself.
Opening ourselves to possibility, exploring issues we are curious and even skeptical about, and embracing our intuition when it contradicts what we have been taught or conditioned to believe all enable us to choose our way forward. To live fully. To break away when we are torn by the dualities we encounter…what we are taught to believe versus what we observe or experience in our lives, what we are conditioned to accept and defend even when it violates our deeply held beliefs, our tendency to deny the truth when it offends our perception of reality.
As health care providers and consumers, instead of rejecting outright what we don't believe in, or understand, or trust, we should explore, observe, and evaluate for ourselves. Who knows what we might learn that will help us heal others...and ourselves.
LIC
Most people I know enjoy visiting the zoo where they are
guided by colorful banners and propelled by children’s laughter and their shrieks
of anticipation and awe. Where lumbering elephants, yawning hippos, and
acrobatic monkeys appear to live in peace, their needs met and the purpose of
their lives fulfilled. It’s reassuring to know they don’t have to worry about being
eaten alive, starving to death on the Serengeti, or drowning in a pool of mud. This
is how I saw it when I was a child, although my thoughts on the subject have
changed over the years.
Now that I’m older, I wonder if the animals are as content as
they appear to be in their cages, satisfied with their man-made habitats, and
happy behind the fences that surround them. I wonder why they pace endlessly and aimlessly back
and forth, or sleep the day away when they haven’t been forced to chase down
prey or run for their own lives. How do they satisfy the ancestral instinct to
migrate as the seasons change? To evade and escape predators? To search for
food and water? What happened to the native intuition that enabled their
survival and propagation over the millennia? Is there something missing?
Something they long for but can’t identify or express?
How did they end up there in the first place?
I wonder about it because I sometimes feel the same way. I
find myself asking the same kind of questions. “How did I end up here?” In this place? With this job?
With this person?
What is my purpose in life, a real sticking point as I age.
Why do I sometimes feel
empty? Lonely? Who am I
Are there other options? Is there a way out? How can I free
myself? What else is possible?
Welcome to the lineage of thinkers, spiritual explorers,
and intellectual seekers who have confronted these same questions ahead of you,
for thousands of years. Plato, Socrates, Aristotle. Buddha. Mohammad. Jesus and
Mary. Emerson and Thoreau. Your own pastor or priest. Your grandparents, and
theirs. Every human being who has contemplated the end of life, none of whom
has arrived at the answer, the fundamental truth. Something is missing. That
First came the promises. You’ll be safe, cared for,
protected. Then, the enticements. Food. Shelter. Affection. You thought
you would be happy. Successful. At peace. But you’re not. You were tricked.
The promises came from people you trusted or depended upon when you were too young, or naïve, or ________to
understand what was happening. From your
parents and teachers. Your friends and family. Priests and pastors. They came
from people who asserted power over you, manipulated you, even coerced you.
They deceived you while claiming to have your best interests at heart. “This is
the way,” they told you. If you hope to be embraced in this life, if you seek
success and happiness, this is what you have to do. If you hope to enter heaven
this is what you have to believe. And because you were lost, lonely, and hungry, or because you
felt threatened, or because you didn’t know any
better, you did what they told you to do.
You fell for it.
It is also possible you misunderstood what they were trying
to tell you. Or you felt pressured to conform, even though you were
uncomfortable with their expectations, conduct, and values.
Then, you realized there were rules. Requirements.
Contingencies.
After all, you were inundated with images and behaviors
that offended your sense of propriety, good sense, and community.
There was a lot at stake.
If you have visited a zoo, or an animal shelter, or a
sanctuary you know what I mean. The animals surrendered to captivity when they were vulnerable.
Perhaps they’d been abandoned, or they were hungry or injured. It wasn’t until the gate
closed behind them that they realized it takes more than food to satisfy real
hunger. More than a roof over your head to feel safe. More than an adoring
audience to fulfill your dreams.
Likewise, it takes more than a big house, or a sporty car,
or new wardrobe to make you happy. More than wealth, or power, or accolades to
satisfy your longing. Not until the gate closes behind us do we realize we have
been tricked. We are trapped.
We thought we would be happy, but we aren’t. We thought our
problems would disappear, but they didn’t. We thought our prayers would be
answered, but they haven’t been. Instead, we find ourselves tethered to
someone else’s idea of right and wrong. Rich and poor. Happy and sad.
We are conditioned to surrender to other people’s opinions,
and to the conclusions we drew as children that became our beliefs about who we
are and what we deserve in life. By the time we realize this is
not__________________
And so, we pace. We search for a way out. But the thought
of leaving safety and security behind can be scary. The idea of making our own
way in the world, of questioning or abandoning the people we depend upon
immobilizes us. We look for freedom, a new job, a new church, a different
partner…………….until we end up so exhausted, so frustrated, so unhappy we give
up. We curl up in a corner and go to sleep. We follow rituals that have no
meaning to us. We spout the platitudes we grew up with, trivialize our doubts,
and surrender rather than embracing our own innate wisdom and reason.
This is life in captivity, where the way we’re meant to see
the world is laid out for us. Where people who claim to know it all, tell us
what we should believe, what we are supposed to do, and how we should see
ourselves. Which is fine if they tell you you’re bright, capable, kind,
handsome, and strong. The problem is that it doesn’t always come out that way. Instead____They
make you feel weak, stupid, lazy, unlovable, or worthless. You end up believing
it, and you can’t shake it off. And because they appear to know what they’re
talking about, you do what you’re told. IE:
Finding
your way out is really about finding your way back
. ‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it
works…You are not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under
cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your
beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding Yourself’ is actually returning
to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.”
***
Tuesday, October 8, 2024
home at last
- While you're thinking about where you'd like to go, save your money. Pass on the latest fashion trends and high tech gadgets. Instead, invest wisely so when the opportunity arises, you can afford to go without scrimping or feeling guilty about it.
- Go when you're still young enough and strong enough to do and see everything you'd hoped for. Before you lose your chance.
- Go with people you love.
- Be flexible. Welcome whatever unfolds as part of the adventure.
- Consider a one-way ticket. You may want to stay there. Forever.
Monday, September 16, 2024
the more you read, the more you know
Burlington Harbor |
With breakneck pace and wondrous detail, BenjamÃn Labatut uses the imaginative resources of fiction to break open the stories of scientists and mathematicians who expanded our notions of the possible."
Tuesday, September 10, 2024
how to feel better about things
Tanzania 2012 |
Last week we were reminded once again...as if we needed a reminder...that the world we live in is a conglomeration of both beauty and ruin, of cruelty and kindness, of contentment and despair. Of joy and grief. Of pain. Of mystery. It's a lot to think about.
We saw school children embracing one another in tears at the senseless gun violence that took down two of them and two of their teachers in Georgia. We watched children wander aimlessly through the rubble of what used to be home for them in Gaza. We were subjected to more political nonsense that included insults, lies, and denial from people we should be able to trust to defend the freedom, justice, and equality our nation was built upon.
Suffering is not only painful to witness, but it can leave us feeling helpless. Frustrated. Heartbroken. Thank goodness for goodness. For kindness, gratitude, and forgiveness. For people who step up to feed the hungry. For people who do what they can to provide relief. Comfort. Solace. Thank goodness for people who speak the truth and act on it...
...because suffering has a tendency to overwhelm us. We need to remind ourselves that goodness abounds. It can help to seek out and appreciate beauty. To embrace friendship. To contemplate the mysteries that surround us. As Neil DeGrasse Tyson tells us,