how does life go on

This past week was a tough one for me. Not for me personally, but for people I know and love, for people I don't know but whose stories I've heard, and for millions of others around the world who, we all know, suffer every day.

It reminds me that my week passed quite peacefully. The sun came out, but it stayed relatively cool thanks to an arctic front that pushed through, a perfect week to get yardwork done and to get some walking in. I went to the grocery store and picked up whatever I wanted to fill my cupboards. I slept in a safe, soft bed. I got a little writing in. It was a quiet and pleasant week for me, but unfortunately, much of the rest of humanity didn't fare so well, and that disturbed me.

It started with images of skeletal children dying of starvation in Gaza, their mothers watching in horror. It continued with pictures of people shuffling through the debris in war-torn Ukraine. It reminded me of people fleeing their homes ahead of the wildfires out West and in Canada, and of those who were reinforcing sand dunes along the East coast head of a monster hurricane. I heard about an otherwise healthy teenager who presented to the Emergency Room with shortness of breath and fever suggestive of pneumonia whose chest x-ray and subsequent CT scan revealed a 15 cm. (that's almost seven inches across) mediastinal mass with lymph node involvement...and I learned about a father who found his daughter hanging close to death in her bedroom when he got home from work. 

How will life go on for them? This is their reality, now. How will the rest of us process it?

"Be kind,

for everyone you meet is fighting

a battle you know nothing about."

~Wendy Mass~

Part of the problem is the sheer magnitude of suffering in the world. Part of it is the utter sense of futility that greets us in our efforts to reach out to others. We do what we can, but it amounts to little more than a dewdrop in the ocean. With a couple of clicks on my keyboard, I donate regularly to a couple of organizations that provide food and assistance to victims of war, poverty, injustice, and natural disasters although I have no clear idea what happens to my donations. I don't know if they help anyone at all. You may do the same, or you may volunteer to pitch in when disaster strikes, or you may simply rely on the power of prayer to relieve the world's suffering, but pain and sorrow still hang heavy around us...

...as does guilt. The gratitude we feel for all we have...food, shelter, good health, and community...can amplify the heartache we harbor for those who are not so lucky. We feel guilty even though we have done nothing to deserve it. We feel guilty because we are so helpless.

"Guilt is not a weakness.

It's a reminder of our capacity to care."

~DESIQuotes.com~

Do you share my sense of futility? Of frustration? Of discouragement?

Where do you turn for solace? For Peace? For joy? How do you sustain a sound spirit of equanimity? Is it even possible?

"EQUANIMITY:

(n.) mental calmness, composure, and

evenness of temper, especially 

in a difficult situation."

~various attributions~

If this week is difficult for you, try this: Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Feel the pulse beating in your own wrist. Ask yourself how the universe we know to be cold, dark, and dangerous drapes itself around us in baby blue. 

Wendell Berry may have said it best:

"It may be that when 

we no longer know what to do,

we have come to our real work,

and when we no longer know which way to go,

we have begun our real journey."

~Wendell Berry~  

jan